Thank you for sharing the pondering of Laurie Brown about her father's death, especially about how many other feelings get mixed in with grief that grief can get lost in the mess. Sarah's words about anticipatory grief brings up the hope that when the time comes to grieve, even if we don't know what we're doing, that we will find camaraderie with other people who are trying to cope.
Feb 5, 2022·edited Feb 5, 2022Liked by Antonia Malchik
Oh, my goodness, this one hit home, Nia. Thank you. I loved Sarah Buttenweiser's quote, "Anyone who has immersed themselves in grief, an experience that isn’t exactly ever of one’s choosing, knows we don’t get over a loss, we carry it forward.” It reminded me of Dr Rita Charon, an MD PhD at Columbia (PhD in English), who (and I'm paraphrasing here) said that we don't "get over" grief; we metabolize it; it becomes a part of who we are.
"Closure" is a myth, and the word has come to be one I recoil against, as it seems to embody that unhealthy American attitude of "just get over it and move on." Our losses and our metabolizing them make us human and who we are.
I don't know how I missed this beautiful elegy -- and eulogy, of sorts. Loss and grief and all its permutations.
Thanks for the link to the story about Barry Lopez in Orien. Lopez was a gift to the planet.
Thank you for sharing the pondering of Laurie Brown about her father's death, especially about how many other feelings get mixed in with grief that grief can get lost in the mess. Sarah's words about anticipatory grief brings up the hope that when the time comes to grieve, even if we don't know what we're doing, that we will find camaraderie with other people who are trying to cope.
Poignant words about grief, Nia, and thank you for including me. Someone else said that grief is like an ocean that we have to surrender ourselves to.
Oh, my goodness, this one hit home, Nia. Thank you. I loved Sarah Buttenweiser's quote, "Anyone who has immersed themselves in grief, an experience that isn’t exactly ever of one’s choosing, knows we don’t get over a loss, we carry it forward.” It reminded me of Dr Rita Charon, an MD PhD at Columbia (PhD in English), who (and I'm paraphrasing here) said that we don't "get over" grief; we metabolize it; it becomes a part of who we are.
"Closure" is a myth, and the word has come to be one I recoil against, as it seems to embody that unhealthy American attitude of "just get over it and move on." Our losses and our metabolizing them make us human and who we are.
Thank you as always.
Thank you for this.