17 Comments
User's avatar
Anne Murphy's avatar

Instead we put our heads down and work, and on the following Friday our Director tells us to "take care of ourselves." Everyone I know is shellshocked into a state of numbness (pointing finger at myself too). So we work, and work, and carry on because capitalism demands we do so. Be resilient, they say. Eff off, I say.

Expand full comment
Antonia Malchik's avatar

Same, same, same. Those last two sentences feel like a poem encapsulating everything.

Expand full comment
Anne Murphy's avatar

I just typed 'resilience is a scam' into Google and found this: https://poets.ca/resilienceisascam-adele-barclay/

Expand full comment
Antonia Malchik's avatar

"The issue with treating resilience like an admirable character trait suggests that those who didn’t survive were somehow lacking when faced with circumstances they really should’ve never had to bear." !!!!!

Also AHP's essay today. I just want to curl up into a ball.

Expand full comment
Mark Liebenow's avatar

A community should pause in its grief when there is death. A society should close all its business, pause all normal activities, and come together for a day to collectively grieve when it has failed to protect its people. To mourn with our hearts, not just with our words. To acknowledge our failures and mistakes. To gather the wounded and hurting and console them. To say that what happened was wrong and that what we did wasn't enough. To take the necessary steps to prevent this from ever happening again. And resolve that it never will.

Expand full comment
Antonia Malchik's avatar

This is the essay, mini-essay, that I needed to read. I wish we could all just *stop* and do all of this.

Expand full comment
Chris La Tray's avatar

It's the all systems go nature of everything all the time that gets me. We talk about wanting to pause, but who really does? Acting while immobilized is a weird state to be in. I think there will be a price to pay.

Expand full comment
Antonia Malchik's avatar

"Acting while immobilized is a weird state to be in." There is something true there. Something I want to hear more about.

Expand full comment
elm's avatar

"I push peas into the soil, and it does feel better. But a pea is not a child; a fresh raspberry is not balm for a broken parent."

No, it isn't, but it is a pea. The negative and the positive exist side-by-side.

"Especially in grief, for which there are many metaphors, all of which serve to deflect a little from the truth, the realness, of loss."

Those kids are dead and they're going to stay that way, never to be replaced. The people of Bucha still died in the streets of that town. If you try and swallow all the tragedy and grief of the world (or most of it, or even just chunks of it, just small chunks of it), you'll drown. Too much ordinary death & suffering every day, even on a 'good' day for one person to absorb.

I have often tried; it sucks that one cannot.

elm

good post

Expand full comment
Antonia Malchik's avatar

💙

Expand full comment
Karen Dempsey's avatar

Thank you for this. I needed it.

Expand full comment
Greg Davis's avatar

Thank you, Nia. There's precious little of comfort these days, but your words help. Attention must be paid. Thank you. <3

Expand full comment
Antonia Malchik's avatar

I was thinking of your work and how separated most of us are from many of these realities. Thank you 💙

Expand full comment
Chris Danforth's avatar

Thank you for the lovely words, and thank you for sharing them with us.

Expand full comment
Antonia Malchik's avatar

💙

Expand full comment
User's avatar
Comment deleted
May 26, 2022
Comment deleted
Expand full comment
Antonia Malchik's avatar

💙

Expand full comment