You're writing with great presence through the swiss-cheese-thinking, Nia. I'm sorry to hear about All The Things, and I hope for healing to be as slow and complete as you need it to be. May there be plenty of time for that.
Gosh, I'm so sorry to be reading this several days after you posted! I hope that you're all feeling a bit better! I did a deep dive into that Swedish woman's YouTube channel, so I thank you for diverting me from facing the real world.
I'm so sorry to hear about your recent trials. If this is how you write on brain fog, I want some of what you're having without the bad parts! I do hope all of that is beginning to resolve.
Coincidentally, I just happened across some "doomreading" recommendations by Zeynep Tufekci, the first of which relates to Ukraine and that region (Timothy Snyder - Bloodlands). Others in the comments recommended Serhii Plokhy's Gates of Europe and the 2019 film "Mr. Jones" ( Agnieszka Holland) about the Ukraine famine, though the latter sounds pretty harrowing.
"I hoped we’d escape effects like brain fog, and exhaustion, and crawling around the house trying to feed people chicken soup and orange juice and tea, while wanting to do nothing but huddle miserably under blankets. But here we are. Or were. I’m not sure."
Hopefully the brain fog will lift. It's been two years since I got Covid the first time, followed by the year and a half of the slow recovery. The brain works OK, but the physical heart took some damage. I was feeling fine by December and then all hell breaks after Christmas, still cruising along and I got the three-week cruds. Was it BA.2? Doesn't test for it, but sure feels like a much lighter version of the last time I got Covid.
In any event, I hope it lifts for you here soon. It's no good when it sticks around.
"Mostly, I don’t want the people of Ukraine to have to face the stupid, insane cruelty of what’s coming."
I'm sorry. Looks like he's going to wreck the Ukrainian armed forces, trash the government and leave, à la Gulf War I. (The man is good at trolling; he seems to see it as half his job.) I've been expecting this particular conflict for 30 years, and it happily kept not breaking out. I was hoping it would keep not breaking out but no such luck. I'm sorry. 🤍
I hope that you are all on the mend. Illnesses piling on top of each other are the worst. I hope you will share more on that Kustanovich book when you finish it.
Oh no, I hope everyone returns to health soon. You know it's bad when reading becomes so difficult. It's a sad, hard time right now in so many ways. Much love to you and your family near and far.
All my best to you and family, I cannot imagine what you must be going through. We are all thinking of you and sending thoughts our way. Another wonderful, piercing column from you, thanks so much. 🧡
All my best to your ailing family. I woke up this morning with an image of your smiling face in my mind, which tells me you were part of a dream I was having though I have no memory of it. I hope we were doing something adventurous. I'm certain we were, in fact. Hang in there!
I've thought about trying to find my box of pictures from Ukraine. I took them in the summer of '03, just before the Orange Revolution. It's hard to decide whether I haven't dug them out because I don't want to look for them (they're either under my bed or in a dresser upstairs or maybe above my closet, I couldn't say), or because I don't want to see those faces again and think about them being in front of Russian troops.
I'm sorry to hear that the illness had descended on your house. We all have those seasons, and they are just the absolute worst.
What a brilliant and moving essay. I have been steeping in my own dread over what may be coming for Ukraine and—because we are all connected—for the world. When I mix that with the plague of post-covid brain fog, the future looks even blurrier to me than usual. I guess all we can do is cling to our remaining brain cells, shore up our gradually decaying civility, and hope for a pendulum swing back to empathy, sanity, and hopefulness.
Hope you guys are felling better. First covid really knocked us out. Omicron wasn't nearly as bad, but still put most of us in bed watching shows all day.
I've been thinking about how to get resources on the Ukraine issue, and should have thought of you. I don't know how to avoid narrative capture, but I've been trying to at least be skeptical of all claims and positions. Do you have any recommendations for Ukrainian history?
It’s no surprise to me that your neighbors took care of you because I am sure they’ve experienced you as an extraordinary caregiver and human.
I am trying to learn more about Russia so I appreciate this post and the fact that you continue to write so beautifully through the fog.
Finally, when my brain was in a trauma fog in December, a friend recommended babysitters club and it was perfect.
You're writing with great presence through the swiss-cheese-thinking, Nia. I'm sorry to hear about All The Things, and I hope for healing to be as slow and complete as you need it to be. May there be plenty of time for that.
Gosh, I'm so sorry to be reading this several days after you posted! I hope that you're all feeling a bit better! I did a deep dive into that Swedish woman's YouTube channel, so I thank you for diverting me from facing the real world.
I'm so sorry to hear about your recent trials. If this is how you write on brain fog, I want some of what you're having without the bad parts! I do hope all of that is beginning to resolve.
Coincidentally, I just happened across some "doomreading" recommendations by Zeynep Tufekci, the first of which relates to Ukraine and that region (Timothy Snyder - Bloodlands). Others in the comments recommended Serhii Plokhy's Gates of Europe and the 2019 film "Mr. Jones" ( Agnieszka Holland) about the Ukraine famine, though the latter sounds pretty harrowing.
"“It’s all bullshit.” —my dad, frequently"
I'll second Dad.
"I hoped we’d escape effects like brain fog, and exhaustion, and crawling around the house trying to feed people chicken soup and orange juice and tea, while wanting to do nothing but huddle miserably under blankets. But here we are. Or were. I’m not sure."
Hopefully the brain fog will lift. It's been two years since I got Covid the first time, followed by the year and a half of the slow recovery. The brain works OK, but the physical heart took some damage. I was feeling fine by December and then all hell breaks after Christmas, still cruising along and I got the three-week cruds. Was it BA.2? Doesn't test for it, but sure feels like a much lighter version of the last time I got Covid.
In any event, I hope it lifts for you here soon. It's no good when it sticks around.
"Mostly, I don’t want the people of Ukraine to have to face the stupid, insane cruelty of what’s coming."
I'm sorry. Looks like he's going to wreck the Ukrainian armed forces, trash the government and leave, à la Gulf War I. (The man is good at trolling; he seems to see it as half his job.) I've been expecting this particular conflict for 30 years, and it happily kept not breaking out. I was hoping it would keep not breaking out but no such luck. I'm sorry. 🤍
elm
i feel like apologizing and i didn't do any of it
I hope that you are all on the mend. Illnesses piling on top of each other are the worst. I hope you will share more on that Kustanovich book when you finish it.
Oh no, I hope everyone returns to health soon. You know it's bad when reading becomes so difficult. It's a sad, hard time right now in so many ways. Much love to you and your family near and far.
Many good wishes for you and all your family to feel better quickly, Nia!
All my best to you and family, I cannot imagine what you must be going through. We are all thinking of you and sending thoughts our way. Another wonderful, piercing column from you, thanks so much. 🧡
All my best to your ailing family. I woke up this morning with an image of your smiling face in my mind, which tells me you were part of a dream I was having though I have no memory of it. I hope we were doing something adventurous. I'm certain we were, in fact. Hang in there!
Sending so much love to you and your family, both near and far, both literal and global. This was lovely and hit hard.
I've thought about trying to find my box of pictures from Ukraine. I took them in the summer of '03, just before the Orange Revolution. It's hard to decide whether I haven't dug them out because I don't want to look for them (they're either under my bed or in a dresser upstairs or maybe above my closet, I couldn't say), or because I don't want to see those faces again and think about them being in front of Russian troops.
I'm sorry to hear that the illness had descended on your house. We all have those seasons, and they are just the absolute worst.
What a brilliant and moving essay. I have been steeping in my own dread over what may be coming for Ukraine and—because we are all connected—for the world. When I mix that with the plague of post-covid brain fog, the future looks even blurrier to me than usual. I guess all we can do is cling to our remaining brain cells, shore up our gradually decaying civility, and hope for a pendulum swing back to empathy, sanity, and hopefulness.
Hope you guys are felling better. First covid really knocked us out. Omicron wasn't nearly as bad, but still put most of us in bed watching shows all day.
I've been thinking about how to get resources on the Ukraine issue, and should have thought of you. I don't know how to avoid narrative capture, but I've been trying to at least be skeptical of all claims and positions. Do you have any recommendations for Ukrainian history?