"And isn’t that what life wants of us, really? To live with this world like we care about it." Beautiful. That's going in my journal as a keeper (I'm a collector of lines from things I read that I want to revisit and you're in there more than once).
After being a very early adopter and heavy user of several platforms I've cut back and back and back and it's freeing. The parasocial connections I have through this and other newsletters/spaces that have a strong sense of community make it worthwhile to get online. I think of the advice I read (online!) about choices in general, "Does this enlarge me or diminish me?" Reading your newsletter enlarges me; dealing with the Twitter-pated diminishes me. Allocate time accordingly.
My relationship with technology has moved toward one that enables more life lived, thanks to the nature of my work. Today I rode my bike in late afternoon sunshine to my neighborhood bakery where I got to talk with my state representative because she happened to be there and I owed her an email reply about a state program my division runs; greeted one of the regular cashiers and splurged on a latte with their housemade almond syrup to go with my hazelnut shortbread cookie; sat and read and could field a couple of work things that were time-sensitive because I had my phone; came home and made a batch of hummus and started my evening.
Without that phone I would have stayed home at my laptop and could have kept going into darkness--not for the pings, which come whether or not I want them thanks to Teams chat and Outlook email both having emojis because They Are Everywhere Now, but because there's always more work and I genuinely love what I do (working for better active transportation is incredibly fulfilling).
And yet as I've gotten more advanced in my career it's been easier to recognize that this "keep going" option will always be true--there is always more work, I will never be done, and therefore it's absolutely essential that I live a life full of people and experiences and things I love and not rely on work to provide all my nutrients. I'm incredibly fortunate in my career; I'm always doing work I believe in and that sustains me and enables me not to think of work as getting in the way of living. Fortunately I'm also very good at taking real weekends and real vacations and model that for the people I work so they know that's the expectation.
You always make me think and connect things. Thank you for writing.
Another beautiful and deep column, lots of wisdom as always in there. I like your ideas for unplugging and getting quiet, battling the tug of attention and feedback. I wish I was better at it. Only when I'm totally off grid for days (backpacking, ski touring, etc) and "No Service" (an awesome Guy Tal chapter in one of his recent books) is prevalent, can I resist and of course there is nothing I can do. Sending good thoughts your way... Paul
I'm late in commenting because it's had me thinking, and then I realised after a while that my thoughts were still interrupting themselves constantly and I *wasn't* thinking. I was still thinking about all this - then getting distracted - then coming back - then rinse and repeat.
And...that is so much of the issue, for me, this jittery reactive state we get ourselves into and take so long to get out of. It's not like a switch being flipped. It's like being poisoned. You need 12 hours, or a full day, or 72 hours to flush it out your system. It reminds me of going on holiday - that first day that's a write-off. Or the process of going for a walk: you're not really "walking" (or at least I'm not) until about 40 minutes in, when you've warmed up and found your easy gait and forgot all the little aches and pains when you started out, and you're the right temperature, and your thoughts are unclogging. I can't cheat those 40 minutes, they must be spent in exactly that way. That's the runway. And it's frustrating and inevitable and undodgeable.
I envy you those three days in the cabin, and every time you go to the cabin. It sounds wonderful. How much of it is de-poisoning yourself, do you think? How long before you've actually arrived in the cabin and you can feel yourself truly there? How long before you're alive again?
I worry that we all need a bit longer to get these massively stimulating artificial habits out of our system than we give ourselves and/or have time for. In which case, it's time to start adding a bit onto all our estimates of how long we need to re-awaken, each time we're yanked back online and deadened by all that urgent noise and chaos...
I came across something this week that said prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) used to love by running water and listen to it.. It made me think, this man who had the “divine” guidance (or inspiration or personal mission or whatever you’d like to call it) even with all that what he had to do in his life, used to love and sit and find solace by running water.. What would that make of us?
It also made a mental image of this inspired human, still finding the need to empty himself by a running stream.. I just that this love of running water, means something..
I sometimes worry that my children barely remember what it is to live without technology. I tried to create opportunities for them to live stretches without it, but it felt like trying to patch a leaking dam with a band-aid. I barely remember it myself anymore and I miss it. Ironically, I've wasted hours of my life searching the internet for listings for raw land for sale out of a vain hope that someday I'll decamp to a little cabin off the grid on a regular basis. But to do that I'd have to accumulate extra money, which requires me not to be there. So, here I am...
I have followed a similar path with technology. I waited to get a “smart” phone until I lived in Atlanta, GA and kept getting lost and having to call my sister so that she could check the map on her smart phone and tell me how to get home. My kids didn’t get phones until high school, when I legitimately felt like I couldn’t hold out any longer. I silence all but texts and calls. My Airbnb throws a bit of a wrench in this as I need notifications on for that, and when I have guests, I have to have my phone on at night if something comes up with the house. Ugh. I guess, the practice, as you say, is to come back over and over to the world, to myself, to the other selves who share my life, to be there/here as much as possible. Enjoy your cabin!
Beautiful photos! I love finding tracks. We don't have wolves here but even finding a raccoon track of prints down a sandy trail makes me feel alive, because I'm seeing their story. It's been a fight for me with the smartphone because it's where I "found my people" in my twenties... and I still visit some of the ones I met back then! That's where I was this weekend. I try to keep a good balance ... Arnold Schwarzenegger says to mind how screen time makes you feel; when I find a site is feeding me outrage or dopamine hits, I step away. That has been working for me lately.
Like others, I don't want to add to the noise, but I wanted to let you know how much I appreciated this post. I've been reading on Substack for quite a while, but writing only since January. I appreciate how Notes has introduced writers to me, but I'm finding that even this relatively healthier social media channel also leaves me feeling icky and drained. You articulated why that is, and it was helpful for me to read your words this weekend. I hope you are in the quiet, not seeing these words until you return. So glad to have found your writing.
I’m glad to have stumbled into the newsletter of a fellow dumbphone owner! I find that’s my greatest defense from a slide into a distracted, fractured dash-to-day. But I too still need to be invigorated and re-enlivened now and again. I’ve reflected lately how paddling, socializing, and trying new things make me feel that aliveness.
I am so much in tune with your thoughts here Nia. The digital nudges have surpassed their expectations and transpired into digital ‘thuds’ now. It is impossible to own multiple smart devices and not to pay back the cost in currency of attention. That’s the trade off of modern technology I suppose. We pay for all the things that we don’t require at all.
Although the world is noisy and we feel like running away to live among the wolves and the owls, the squirrels and the magpies- I am still grateful that I could find you and the others and to be able to walk this solitary path together for however long we are destined to. Lots of love and peace to you dear Nia. 💜🌼
Thank you for this. You remind me I haven't been to my few nights without screens in the woods for way too long - in 2021 & 22 I went every four months. So when I get back. But most of today was White Sands with no cell service, and despite a grumbly child (who just reminded me he rolled down the dunes, not just sledded), so I am grateful for this.
Thank you for writing this. I relate to so much of this. My head has been feeling noisy lately, and it's making me realise I'm neurodivergent. I jumped at the chance to go cat-sit for a friend for a month and a half. It's in another big city, but a city with parks and small forests I can walk in, and I'll be alone, which should help dial down the noise. (I've also had my gmail for around 20 years now!)
Last fall while bike riding along the river I rested for a few minutes at an old picnic bench by a stand of trees. Looking down I noticed someone had carved the following words into the top of the bench: "I wanna feel again."
I have a like-hate relationship with technology. I like it as a tool, not as a lifestyle. But the people who incessantly peddle technology to us want it to be our world ($$$), and for the most part, we have surrendered to them. Just like with the automobile, we are surrendering to technology our entire way of being in the world. We no longer have to walk, to think deeply, to create, or when it's inconvenient, even to feel.
Just look at what progress has brought about! The Cosmos itself will someday bow to us! Maybe then our mission will be complete!
"And isn’t that what life wants of us, really? To live with this world like we care about it." Beautiful. That's going in my journal as a keeper (I'm a collector of lines from things I read that I want to revisit and you're in there more than once).
After being a very early adopter and heavy user of several platforms I've cut back and back and back and it's freeing. The parasocial connections I have through this and other newsletters/spaces that have a strong sense of community make it worthwhile to get online. I think of the advice I read (online!) about choices in general, "Does this enlarge me or diminish me?" Reading your newsletter enlarges me; dealing with the Twitter-pated diminishes me. Allocate time accordingly.
My relationship with technology has moved toward one that enables more life lived, thanks to the nature of my work. Today I rode my bike in late afternoon sunshine to my neighborhood bakery where I got to talk with my state representative because she happened to be there and I owed her an email reply about a state program my division runs; greeted one of the regular cashiers and splurged on a latte with their housemade almond syrup to go with my hazelnut shortbread cookie; sat and read and could field a couple of work things that were time-sensitive because I had my phone; came home and made a batch of hummus and started my evening.
Without that phone I would have stayed home at my laptop and could have kept going into darkness--not for the pings, which come whether or not I want them thanks to Teams chat and Outlook email both having emojis because They Are Everywhere Now, but because there's always more work and I genuinely love what I do (working for better active transportation is incredibly fulfilling).
And yet as I've gotten more advanced in my career it's been easier to recognize that this "keep going" option will always be true--there is always more work, I will never be done, and therefore it's absolutely essential that I live a life full of people and experiences and things I love and not rely on work to provide all my nutrients. I'm incredibly fortunate in my career; I'm always doing work I believe in and that sustains me and enables me not to think of work as getting in the way of living. Fortunately I'm also very good at taking real weekends and real vacations and model that for the people I work so they know that's the expectation.
You always make me think and connect things. Thank you for writing.
Another beautiful and deep column, lots of wisdom as always in there. I like your ideas for unplugging and getting quiet, battling the tug of attention and feedback. I wish I was better at it. Only when I'm totally off grid for days (backpacking, ski touring, etc) and "No Service" (an awesome Guy Tal chapter in one of his recent books) is prevalent, can I resist and of course there is nothing I can do. Sending good thoughts your way... Paul
Beautifully said. (I love listening to these!)
I'm late in commenting because it's had me thinking, and then I realised after a while that my thoughts were still interrupting themselves constantly and I *wasn't* thinking. I was still thinking about all this - then getting distracted - then coming back - then rinse and repeat.
And...that is so much of the issue, for me, this jittery reactive state we get ourselves into and take so long to get out of. It's not like a switch being flipped. It's like being poisoned. You need 12 hours, or a full day, or 72 hours to flush it out your system. It reminds me of going on holiday - that first day that's a write-off. Or the process of going for a walk: you're not really "walking" (or at least I'm not) until about 40 minutes in, when you've warmed up and found your easy gait and forgot all the little aches and pains when you started out, and you're the right temperature, and your thoughts are unclogging. I can't cheat those 40 minutes, they must be spent in exactly that way. That's the runway. And it's frustrating and inevitable and undodgeable.
I envy you those three days in the cabin, and every time you go to the cabin. It sounds wonderful. How much of it is de-poisoning yourself, do you think? How long before you've actually arrived in the cabin and you can feel yourself truly there? How long before you're alive again?
I worry that we all need a bit longer to get these massively stimulating artificial habits out of our system than we give ourselves and/or have time for. In which case, it's time to start adding a bit onto all our estimates of how long we need to re-awaken, each time we're yanked back online and deadened by all that urgent noise and chaos...
Beautiful and true, as always 🌙
tracking mountain lions!!
I came across something this week that said prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) used to love by running water and listen to it.. It made me think, this man who had the “divine” guidance (or inspiration or personal mission or whatever you’d like to call it) even with all that what he had to do in his life, used to love and sit and find solace by running water.. What would that make of us?
It also made a mental image of this inspired human, still finding the need to empty himself by a running stream.. I just that this love of running water, means something..
I sometimes worry that my children barely remember what it is to live without technology. I tried to create opportunities for them to live stretches without it, but it felt like trying to patch a leaking dam with a band-aid. I barely remember it myself anymore and I miss it. Ironically, I've wasted hours of my life searching the internet for listings for raw land for sale out of a vain hope that someday I'll decamp to a little cabin off the grid on a regular basis. But to do that I'd have to accumulate extra money, which requires me not to be there. So, here I am...
Amen to every word
Hi Antonia,
I have followed a similar path with technology. I waited to get a “smart” phone until I lived in Atlanta, GA and kept getting lost and having to call my sister so that she could check the map on her smart phone and tell me how to get home. My kids didn’t get phones until high school, when I legitimately felt like I couldn’t hold out any longer. I silence all but texts and calls. My Airbnb throws a bit of a wrench in this as I need notifications on for that, and when I have guests, I have to have my phone on at night if something comes up with the house. Ugh. I guess, the practice, as you say, is to come back over and over to the world, to myself, to the other selves who share my life, to be there/here as much as possible. Enjoy your cabin!
Beautiful photos! I love finding tracks. We don't have wolves here but even finding a raccoon track of prints down a sandy trail makes me feel alive, because I'm seeing their story. It's been a fight for me with the smartphone because it's where I "found my people" in my twenties... and I still visit some of the ones I met back then! That's where I was this weekend. I try to keep a good balance ... Arnold Schwarzenegger says to mind how screen time makes you feel; when I find a site is feeding me outrage or dopamine hits, I step away. That has been working for me lately.
Like others, I don't want to add to the noise, but I wanted to let you know how much I appreciated this post. I've been reading on Substack for quite a while, but writing only since January. I appreciate how Notes has introduced writers to me, but I'm finding that even this relatively healthier social media channel also leaves me feeling icky and drained. You articulated why that is, and it was helpful for me to read your words this weekend. I hope you are in the quiet, not seeing these words until you return. So glad to have found your writing.
I’m glad to have stumbled into the newsletter of a fellow dumbphone owner! I find that’s my greatest defense from a slide into a distracted, fractured dash-to-day. But I too still need to be invigorated and re-enlivened now and again. I’ve reflected lately how paddling, socializing, and trying new things make me feel that aliveness.
I am so much in tune with your thoughts here Nia. The digital nudges have surpassed their expectations and transpired into digital ‘thuds’ now. It is impossible to own multiple smart devices and not to pay back the cost in currency of attention. That’s the trade off of modern technology I suppose. We pay for all the things that we don’t require at all.
Although the world is noisy and we feel like running away to live among the wolves and the owls, the squirrels and the magpies- I am still grateful that I could find you and the others and to be able to walk this solitary path together for however long we are destined to. Lots of love and peace to you dear Nia. 💜🌼
Thank you for this. You remind me I haven't been to my few nights without screens in the woods for way too long - in 2021 & 22 I went every four months. So when I get back. But most of today was White Sands with no cell service, and despite a grumbly child (who just reminded me he rolled down the dunes, not just sledded), so I am grateful for this.
Thank you for writing this. I relate to so much of this. My head has been feeling noisy lately, and it's making me realise I'm neurodivergent. I jumped at the chance to go cat-sit for a friend for a month and a half. It's in another big city, but a city with parks and small forests I can walk in, and I'll be alone, which should help dial down the noise. (I've also had my gmail for around 20 years now!)
To feel alive. That seems important.
Last fall while bike riding along the river I rested for a few minutes at an old picnic bench by a stand of trees. Looking down I noticed someone had carved the following words into the top of the bench: "I wanna feel again."
I have a like-hate relationship with technology. I like it as a tool, not as a lifestyle. But the people who incessantly peddle technology to us want it to be our world ($$$), and for the most part, we have surrendered to them. Just like with the automobile, we are surrendering to technology our entire way of being in the world. We no longer have to walk, to think deeply, to create, or when it's inconvenient, even to feel.
Just look at what progress has brought about! The Cosmos itself will someday bow to us! Maybe then our mission will be complete!