I feel many parallels to going on a long solo walk and driving solo in a car on a moonlit road. I don’t really ever drive alone anymore, but a few months ago I had a long country drive and played loud throwback music and just let the tears flow. Such a release.
I remember and love your serviceberry piece too and I’m definitely listening to that podcast this week while I walk 💗
“We know something about this truth even if we remain unaware of it.” Yes, this is what gives me hope, the deep connection down underneath, and also, to use “know” in a slightly different way, what we don’t know (because we’re all about knowing everything when really we understand so little). Thanks Antonia! Hope you can manage to eat all the Borscht!
I really do feel this more and more, the value of the 'long way round' in everything, or at the very least as a full understanding of the value of the long way before any short cuts are taken - and I've learned a lot from you about certain aspects of it (chiefly walking), so thank you, as always, for your enormously-brained wisdom.
There's that old trope from stories where the master forces the student to do something the painfully slow way, to teach them patience and awareness. I would have thought this is a lesson that's so heavily drummed into us by stories - for example, a thousand and one martials arts movies - that everyone would get it. But then you have the "one-page summary so you never have to read the whole book" stuff out there, and all its tech equivalents, and even saying all this makes me feel like I'm 80 years old shaking my stick at youngsters with their new-fangled "skate boards" and "walk-mans". But still, didn't these guys (it's usually guys) in tech claiming they're "graphic artists" because they can type a prompt into Midjourney or Grok...didn't they watch The Karate Kid when they were growing up? What kind of disconnect happened there? When did they forget?
The other thing about the long way is it gives you time to listen and think. I've never learned to drive, but I've always seen the value of having a car to listen in, both music and audiobooks. If I had a car, I would get through 10x the audiobooks I go through every year (and probably rack up £20,000 in gas purchases). Also - YES, aren't narrators so important? I was all ready to re-listen to Robin Hobb's Liveship books until I discovered the audiobook narrator's voice drives me right up the wall (and there doesn't seem to be an alternative) - and if I see a book is narrated by Simon Vance, Stephen Thorne or Rosamund Pike (who has done an *incredible* job of the first three Wheel Of Time novels), I almost don't care what the story is, I'm instantly on board. It really matters. And, again, I want the long way round - I want a human being to be employed to do an amazingly heartfelt job of it, not an AI, even though it'll take 20 times as long (but that's 20x the hourly payday for that narrator).
Ah, cars: so bad in so many ways, but the things they're good for are so precious.
"But still, didn't these guys (it's usually guys) in tech claiming they're "graphic artists" because they can type a prompt into Midjourney or Grok...didn't they watch The Karate Kid when they were growing up? What kind of disconnect happened there? When did they forget?"
This question! I don't know! And I wonder all the time! It's kind of like when someone jokes to me that we just need to drop acid or ayahuasca into the drinks of the powerful, or everyone, and I'm like, but those tech lords do that stuff all the time at Burning Man or parties or wherever. And all it seems to do is enlarge and stiffen their egos (insert joke from a 15-year-old here). It does NOT seem to open their consciousness, much less conscience.
And totally agree, the narrator for an audiobook is at least as important as the book itself. I can see Rosamund Pike being good (also she plays in the Wheel of Time so it's cool to know she's reading the books, too). Benedict Cumberbatch did some of Ngaio Marsh's mysteries and did a fantastic job. But when there's a bad reader I just can't even with the book.
It's all so weird. Like ... it would be great if tech *actually* found efficiency for stuff that most people don't benefit from doing, or that doesn't need a human. But why go directly for all the things that make life worthwhile, creativity and learning most of all?
I just love all of this so much--the headbanging in the car in parallel, I'm with you--I'm of the same generation and sometimes feel like I'm far more irreverent and ready to have fun than I ever have been. :) There is something about the ability to drive, to head off on one's own that I do love, as much as I also have many frustrations with car culture. Can't wait to listen to the podcast--taproots sounds exactly perfect for all that you write so beautifully of my friend.
Also the storytelling and walking--I love that, and it's so so true. Reminds me of Tyson Yunkaporta and David Abram writing about how Australian aboriginal culture stories the landscape--narrating the stories as they walk, woven into the landscape and memory. It's so something we sorely too often miss and need more of, in being in relationship with the lands we live on.
Oh, I love that connection, and yes, it's so true. I've been thinking about it a lot since a friend sent me an interview with a woman who works with Tyson Yunkaporta, and she talked about ways of teaching herself place-based learning and memory. I've had this practice ever since then of writing a (bad) poem with Moon's phase and position, linked with a bird interaction or sighting or hearing (whenever possible). Not daily but often enough that I'm starting to associate Moon's phases with bird presence. It's a wonderful way to approach learning, even if the poems themselves are bad!
I bet if you took it up your poems would actually be good! It is an interesting one — I really find it works as far as making associations stick. If all learning were like that, I wonder how much more I’d be aware of.
This post and the podcast are incredible. I'm working on an essay that includes my love-hate relationship with my car and also the difficulty of learning new ways to move through the world (not just physically, but also in terms of climate grief), and all of this resonates so much
I am so glad to hear it! And I have to say even after spending years researching and writing my book, and developing an entirely different relationship with walking, I am still learning ways of moving through the world. I suppose that’s a gift, in a way, something to value: to always be learning not just through books but more so through embodied lived experience.
The links between storytelling and walking, relating while we make our own individual choices, old car being towed and old songs being played in loop - all too human and relatable Nia. A genuine and gorgeous essay. I am glad to have had a chance to be human alongside you 💜
I'm glad the Subie is running again and that you get to walk in Badger Two-Medicine. I downloaded the podcast, and I'll listen to it on my walks this week. The Offspring are a lot of fun, their album Ixnay on the Hombre is one of my favorites. I just finished reading How to Do Nothing by Jenny Odell, and while I've already embraced bioregionalism, I'm trying to go all in on it.
I'm glad the Subie is running again and that you get to walk in Badger Two-Medicine. I downloaded the podcast, and I'll listen to it on my walks this week. The Offspring are a lot of fun, their album Ixnay on the Hombre is one of my favorites. I just finished reading How to Do Nothing by Jenny Odell, and while I've already embraced bioregionalism, I'm trying to go all in on it.
I do like The Offspring. Appreciate them a lot more now nearing 50. I enjoyed them as a teenager, but didn't in those days listen to music as closely, just wanted anything to dance or angst to.
Among all the writers and readers I know, I'm about the only one who couldn't connect with Odell's books. Objectively, I think she's a good writer and created something interesting, but I just couldn't get into it (I think for that book in particular it felt close to preaching to the choir for me -- it didn't feel like a new perspective to someone who already lived in the world that way; but more, I've never enjoyed the "ideas through art" approach to nonfiction). But I respect what she does! I'm always happy to take a "This didn't work for me but that says nothing about its quality" approach to books. I did read a review of her books once that felt true of my experience, that they read like an art installation rather than a narrative. I liked them better thinking of them that way.
I love that Offspring are still making music. They were the grumpy old people of metal-punk and now they have aged into it. As for Odell, I agreed with the book but I didn't find it as enlightening as I thought, probably because she references Braiding Sweetgrass a lot and I've read it, and that was the eye-opener book for me. Odell's was a good enough read but dry, and while I appreciated some of the explanation of performance artists who work to expose how our attention is wired, I didn't come away with much new, after the opening chapter, which was originally an article that garnered enough attention to be made into a book. So maybe that's what felt odd about everything after.
That’s a pretty good summation for my experience! And I read Braiding Sweetgrass when it was originally published, hadn’t realized that might be part of my lack of connection with How To Do Nothing, but that’s probably a part of it.
How To Do Nothing comes up off and on in the comments in this space, and someone once said (when I apologetically said I couldn’t get into it—I always feel bad, since so many people love it!) that it read a lot like a dissertation revised slightly for a popular audience, which also felt right for me.
And now I have a new life goal of being a grumpy old person of metal-punk aging into it. (Need a good emoji for that.)
I'm glad the Subie is running again and that you get to walk in Badger Two-Medicine. I downloaded the podcast, and I'll listen to it on my walks this week. The Offspring are a lot of fun, their album Ixnay on the Hombre is one of my favorites.
In my mind's eye I did not imagine you ever being an admirer of the band Poison. No judgment, just unexpected. Never cared for them. But, to each their joy! 🤣
I have a Toyota Corolla with 160,000 miles and there's a growing list of deferred maintenance due to my financial precarity. But it's been a champ and continues to run without much complaint. Still, I wish I didn't have to own one. Cars are dumb. I prefer my bicycles and my feet.
Haha! Well, to be fair to myself, it happened to be what was on the radio and this station is not only the same one I listened to as a teenager, but it plays about the same music: almost all 80s guitar rock. I will say that I mostly don't play that station when my kids are in the car because I had it on once and I can't remember what came on but my son, who was about 8 at the time, said, "Uh, mom, are you actually okay with this music?" Fortunately, they have better aligned sensibilities! (Also my habit of playing music very loudly in the car is one of their least favorite things about me.)
Agreed: cars are dumb. I prefer my feet. (I will take a bicycle but don't love it, though I'd dislike it less if I didn't have to deal with cycling amidst car traffic -- it feels so unsafe.)
BTW, song lyrics. I've clearly run amok with lyric quotes on my Substack. I'll have to be more mindful if my words start generating a following and $$$.
I always think that law is going to get cleared up or change but it never does. Very frustrating! I've definitely quoted song lyrics before without thinking about it, though usually just one line. I don't think it matters. It is a VERY weird area of property law.
I love the audio of your posts! I always listen and read, in case I miss anything!
My Subaru will be 10 this year, and is behaving itself so far. I swear it prefers dirt roads in the Cascades to smooth pavement and has the scratches to prove it.
You had me thinking back to see if I could find a teacher or mentor "who knew how to open and nurture intellectual curiosity, and a strong sense of a person’s obligation to the world and their community." There was one professor in college. I guess that was enough!
Thank you, John, and that time commitment is quite an honor! I'll try to stay worthy of it. And I'm glad at least one person sat through my small rant about people calling yellow jackets and wasps "bees." 🐝
That drives me nuts too. Back in the UK, they were wasps and bees. Oregano has taken over one of the garden beds. The bees love it. Different species than on the bolted arugula next door.
I need to put up deer fencing. I think we have a new fawn. They tend to try a bit of everything to see if it's edible. The deer (and rabbits) usually leave the nightshades alone, so tomatoes and potatoes are safe, but they did demolish the peppers. Once they figured out the beans were edible, they were gone too.
The fawns in our yard are incredibly cute, but yeah, we would not have any kind of garden without fencing! It’s just that area that’s enclosed. They have free roam of the rest of the place.
I love watching all the different kinds of bees. Right now they on the mint, which has gone to flower, and oregano, and some lettuce and onion flowers. It’s amazing how different bees are attracted to different flowers!
Beautiful as always. The lines I wrote in my journal so I can find them again someday in the future:
"I think there is something about storytelling and walking that are looped around each other, like DNA strands at the center of whatever it is that makes our species. They’re aspects of ourselves that the dominant culture wants all of us to forget, but they’re too much part of who we are."
"No matter what compromises we're making, we still have every chance to be human together." We need to seize that chance every chance we get.
I feel many parallels to going on a long solo walk and driving solo in a car on a moonlit road. I don’t really ever drive alone anymore, but a few months ago I had a long country drive and played loud throwback music and just let the tears flow. Such a release.
I remember and love your serviceberry piece too and I’m definitely listening to that podcast this week while I walk 💗
I feel this. Especially the driving alone -- when I started doing that more again, it really was a weird release, throwback music and throwback self.
“We know something about this truth even if we remain unaware of it.” Yes, this is what gives me hope, the deep connection down underneath, and also, to use “know” in a slightly different way, what we don’t know (because we’re all about knowing everything when really we understand so little). Thanks Antonia! Hope you can manage to eat all the Borscht!
Yes, I think we can absolutely see it in the thin spaces:). We can go to them to find it. Too bad you have to share the borscht😁.
Haha, at least one of my kids likes it!
I will eat ALL the borscht! Except my younger kid likes it too ;)
And yes, me too. We're all connected by this. To deny it does nobody any good, least of all ourselves. Maybe we can see it in the thin spaces?
>>"learning shouldn’t be efficient"
I really do feel this more and more, the value of the 'long way round' in everything, or at the very least as a full understanding of the value of the long way before any short cuts are taken - and I've learned a lot from you about certain aspects of it (chiefly walking), so thank you, as always, for your enormously-brained wisdom.
There's that old trope from stories where the master forces the student to do something the painfully slow way, to teach them patience and awareness. I would have thought this is a lesson that's so heavily drummed into us by stories - for example, a thousand and one martials arts movies - that everyone would get it. But then you have the "one-page summary so you never have to read the whole book" stuff out there, and all its tech equivalents, and even saying all this makes me feel like I'm 80 years old shaking my stick at youngsters with their new-fangled "skate boards" and "walk-mans". But still, didn't these guys (it's usually guys) in tech claiming they're "graphic artists" because they can type a prompt into Midjourney or Grok...didn't they watch The Karate Kid when they were growing up? What kind of disconnect happened there? When did they forget?
The other thing about the long way is it gives you time to listen and think. I've never learned to drive, but I've always seen the value of having a car to listen in, both music and audiobooks. If I had a car, I would get through 10x the audiobooks I go through every year (and probably rack up £20,000 in gas purchases). Also - YES, aren't narrators so important? I was all ready to re-listen to Robin Hobb's Liveship books until I discovered the audiobook narrator's voice drives me right up the wall (and there doesn't seem to be an alternative) - and if I see a book is narrated by Simon Vance, Stephen Thorne or Rosamund Pike (who has done an *incredible* job of the first three Wheel Of Time novels), I almost don't care what the story is, I'm instantly on board. It really matters. And, again, I want the long way round - I want a human being to be employed to do an amazingly heartfelt job of it, not an AI, even though it'll take 20 times as long (but that's 20x the hourly payday for that narrator).
Ah, cars: so bad in so many ways, but the things they're good for are so precious.
"But still, didn't these guys (it's usually guys) in tech claiming they're "graphic artists" because they can type a prompt into Midjourney or Grok...didn't they watch The Karate Kid when they were growing up? What kind of disconnect happened there? When did they forget?"
This question! I don't know! And I wonder all the time! It's kind of like when someone jokes to me that we just need to drop acid or ayahuasca into the drinks of the powerful, or everyone, and I'm like, but those tech lords do that stuff all the time at Burning Man or parties or wherever. And all it seems to do is enlarge and stiffen their egos (insert joke from a 15-year-old here). It does NOT seem to open their consciousness, much less conscience.
And totally agree, the narrator for an audiobook is at least as important as the book itself. I can see Rosamund Pike being good (also she plays in the Wheel of Time so it's cool to know she's reading the books, too). Benedict Cumberbatch did some of Ngaio Marsh's mysteries and did a fantastic job. But when there's a bad reader I just can't even with the book.
It's all so weird. Like ... it would be great if tech *actually* found efficiency for stuff that most people don't benefit from doing, or that doesn't need a human. But why go directly for all the things that make life worthwhile, creativity and learning most of all?
Just lovely. Thank you!
Thank you, Kate!
I just love all of this so much--the headbanging in the car in parallel, I'm with you--I'm of the same generation and sometimes feel like I'm far more irreverent and ready to have fun than I ever have been. :) There is something about the ability to drive, to head off on one's own that I do love, as much as I also have many frustrations with car culture. Can't wait to listen to the podcast--taproots sounds exactly perfect for all that you write so beautifully of my friend.
Also the storytelling and walking--I love that, and it's so so true. Reminds me of Tyson Yunkaporta and David Abram writing about how Australian aboriginal culture stories the landscape--narrating the stories as they walk, woven into the landscape and memory. It's so something we sorely too often miss and need more of, in being in relationship with the lands we live on.
Oh, I love that connection, and yes, it's so true. I've been thinking about it a lot since a friend sent me an interview with a woman who works with Tyson Yunkaporta, and she talked about ways of teaching herself place-based learning and memory. I've had this practice ever since then of writing a (bad) poem with Moon's phase and position, linked with a bird interaction or sighting or hearing (whenever possible). Not daily but often enough that I'm starting to associate Moon's phases with bird presence. It's a wonderful way to approach learning, even if the poems themselves are bad!
wow I absolutely LOVE that practice—two of my favorite things too. 🌖 🪶 💜
I bet if you took it up your poems would actually be good! It is an interesting one — I really find it works as far as making associations stick. If all learning were like that, I wonder how much more I’d be aware of.
This post and the podcast are incredible. I'm working on an essay that includes my love-hate relationship with my car and also the difficulty of learning new ways to move through the world (not just physically, but also in terms of climate grief), and all of this resonates so much
I am so glad to hear it! And I have to say even after spending years researching and writing my book, and developing an entirely different relationship with walking, I am still learning ways of moving through the world. I suppose that’s a gift, in a way, something to value: to always be learning not just through books but more so through embodied lived experience.
The links between storytelling and walking, relating while we make our own individual choices, old car being towed and old songs being played in loop - all too human and relatable Nia. A genuine and gorgeous essay. I am glad to have had a chance to be human alongside you 💜
Oh, Swarna, so much of that for me, too! I know I keep saying this, but to know you in this world is one of the greatest gifts of my past few years.
It is one of the greatest gift and honour for me too my friend. To be able to see the world through your words is a privilege not lost me. 💜
This gave me goosebumps, Nia 🙏🏻❤️
I hope it wasn’t my ridiculous taste in music!
I'm glad the Subie is running again and that you get to walk in Badger Two-Medicine. I downloaded the podcast, and I'll listen to it on my walks this week. The Offspring are a lot of fun, their album Ixnay on the Hombre is one of my favorites. I just finished reading How to Do Nothing by Jenny Odell, and while I've already embraced bioregionalism, I'm trying to go all in on it.
I'm glad the Subie is running again and that you get to walk in Badger Two-Medicine. I downloaded the podcast, and I'll listen to it on my walks this week. The Offspring are a lot of fun, their album Ixnay on the Hombre is one of my favorites. I just finished reading How to Do Nothing by Jenny Odell, and while I've already embraced bioregionalism, I'm trying to go all in on it.
I do like The Offspring. Appreciate them a lot more now nearing 50. I enjoyed them as a teenager, but didn't in those days listen to music as closely, just wanted anything to dance or angst to.
Among all the writers and readers I know, I'm about the only one who couldn't connect with Odell's books. Objectively, I think she's a good writer and created something interesting, but I just couldn't get into it (I think for that book in particular it felt close to preaching to the choir for me -- it didn't feel like a new perspective to someone who already lived in the world that way; but more, I've never enjoyed the "ideas through art" approach to nonfiction). But I respect what she does! I'm always happy to take a "This didn't work for me but that says nothing about its quality" approach to books. I did read a review of her books once that felt true of my experience, that they read like an art installation rather than a narrative. I liked them better thinking of them that way.
I love that Offspring are still making music. They were the grumpy old people of metal-punk and now they have aged into it. As for Odell, I agreed with the book but I didn't find it as enlightening as I thought, probably because she references Braiding Sweetgrass a lot and I've read it, and that was the eye-opener book for me. Odell's was a good enough read but dry, and while I appreciated some of the explanation of performance artists who work to expose how our attention is wired, I didn't come away with much new, after the opening chapter, which was originally an article that garnered enough attention to be made into a book. So maybe that's what felt odd about everything after.
That’s a pretty good summation for my experience! And I read Braiding Sweetgrass when it was originally published, hadn’t realized that might be part of my lack of connection with How To Do Nothing, but that’s probably a part of it.
How To Do Nothing comes up off and on in the comments in this space, and someone once said (when I apologetically said I couldn’t get into it—I always feel bad, since so many people love it!) that it read a lot like a dissertation revised slightly for a popular audience, which also felt right for me.
And now I have a new life goal of being a grumpy old person of metal-punk aging into it. (Need a good emoji for that.)
I'm glad the Subie is running again and that you get to walk in Badger Two-Medicine. I downloaded the podcast, and I'll listen to it on my walks this week. The Offspring are a lot of fun, their album Ixnay on the Hombre is one of my favorites.
In my mind's eye I did not imagine you ever being an admirer of the band Poison. No judgment, just unexpected. Never cared for them. But, to each their joy! 🤣
I have a Toyota Corolla with 160,000 miles and there's a growing list of deferred maintenance due to my financial precarity. But it's been a champ and continues to run without much complaint. Still, I wish I didn't have to own one. Cars are dumb. I prefer my bicycles and my feet.
Loved how this piece meandered.
Haha! Well, to be fair to myself, it happened to be what was on the radio and this station is not only the same one I listened to as a teenager, but it plays about the same music: almost all 80s guitar rock. I will say that I mostly don't play that station when my kids are in the car because I had it on once and I can't remember what came on but my son, who was about 8 at the time, said, "Uh, mom, are you actually okay with this music?" Fortunately, they have better aligned sensibilities! (Also my habit of playing music very loudly in the car is one of their least favorite things about me.)
Agreed: cars are dumb. I prefer my feet. (I will take a bicycle but don't love it, though I'd dislike it less if I didn't have to deal with cycling amidst car traffic -- it feels so unsafe.)
BTW, song lyrics. I've clearly run amok with lyric quotes on my Substack. I'll have to be more mindful if my words start generating a following and $$$.
Oh, the perils and purviews of property!
I always think that law is going to get cleared up or change but it never does. Very frustrating! I've definitely quoted song lyrics before without thinking about it, though usually just one line. I don't think it matters. It is a VERY weird area of property law.
Lovely piece.
Thank you!
I love the audio of your posts! I always listen and read, in case I miss anything!
My Subaru will be 10 this year, and is behaving itself so far. I swear it prefers dirt roads in the Cascades to smooth pavement and has the scratches to prove it.
You had me thinking back to see if I could find a teacher or mentor "who knew how to open and nurture intellectual curiosity, and a strong sense of a person’s obligation to the world and their community." There was one professor in college. I guess that was enough!
Thank you for all of this.
Thank you, John, and that time commitment is quite an honor! I'll try to stay worthy of it. And I'm glad at least one person sat through my small rant about people calling yellow jackets and wasps "bees." 🐝
That drives me nuts too. Back in the UK, they were wasps and bees. Oregano has taken over one of the garden beds. The bees love it. Different species than on the bolted arugula next door.
I need to put up deer fencing. I think we have a new fawn. They tend to try a bit of everything to see if it's edible. The deer (and rabbits) usually leave the nightshades alone, so tomatoes and potatoes are safe, but they did demolish the peppers. Once they figured out the beans were edible, they were gone too.
The fawns in our yard are incredibly cute, but yeah, we would not have any kind of garden without fencing! It’s just that area that’s enclosed. They have free roam of the rest of the place.
I love watching all the different kinds of bees. Right now they on the mint, which has gone to flower, and oregano, and some lettuce and onion flowers. It’s amazing how different bees are attracted to different flowers!
Beautiful as always. The lines I wrote in my journal so I can find them again someday in the future:
"I think there is something about storytelling and walking that are looped around each other, like DNA strands at the center of whatever it is that makes our species. They’re aspects of ourselves that the dominant culture wants all of us to forget, but they’re too much part of who we are."
"No matter what compromises we're making, we still have every chance to be human together." We need to seize that chance every chance we get.
Barb, that's such a gift, knowing you write some of these lines down! I'm very grateful for you, and our being human together.
You are a gift to this world. Adoring this piece.
I am always so grateful for you! And talk about walking as storytelling … you embody that more than ANYBODY.