Listened to this tonight while walking slowly around my favorite urban green patch, the nearby Victorian cemetery. Full moon beaming through quick blankets of clouds, bare gingkos and tulip poplars and sycamores scraping. The sycamores are my favorite winter tree right now. So tortured, bone-white limbs caught mid-spasm, flailing every direction, frozen skeletons of flames.
Someone suggested we make our next Scientific Animists meetup a labyrinth. Your post confirmed it for me. Here's the invite; still finalizing the time but I published it so I could share with you. You get linked prominently. https://partiful.com/e/vm0GE5wieMhUs6c2tswz
I hope you asked those two dudes what they were doing. Doesn't seem rude at all! Seems friendly. If asked the right way.
That walk sounds so, so beautiful. And sycamores! I haven't seen those in a long time.
Wow, I wish I could go to that meetup. The questions you're asking about "how" seem so core: "Looping past each other over and over, trying to maintain our interiority, seems hard. Or maybe we all just need to practice and figure it out?" It's almost like that could lead to the existential questions of human coexistence. How do we share this space?
I didn't ask them. I was trying to think of how to phrase so it wouldn't sound demanding like "WTF are you doing in the lake?!" but I was actually starting to get so cold and damp that the importance faded for me. But if I see them again I'll ask! Very curious. This is a hugely popular family beach and swimming area in the summer, so maybe looking for dropped and lost valuables? Or tiny crayfish, which I know life in the lake.
Years ago I walked a labyrinth with my younger daughter that had been laid out on the lawn of St. John's Cathedral in Spokane, where we lived at the time, and I think we may have gone to a talk at the church on the history of labyrinths. I have a small somewhat circular lawn space in my backyard and have been thinking about how I could make a labyrinth there. In my dreams I somehow manage it with plants so that you have to look closely to see and follow the pattern, but I've been dealing with my false dandelion and burdock by putting in clover seed after I dig them so I don't have a uniform background to start with. But something subtle, maybe sunken bricks? Something. My ancestry is primarily Celtic, British, and people who went viking and it somehow feels like a call back to those roots.
Many thanks to Julie Tennis for the labyrinth locator. I appear to live in the land of labyrinths here in western Washington; they abound! I'll be going to some of them and adding them to the list of attractions to look for when I'm designing bike tours I might take someday, which I write up on my bike blog to get other people to improve on my initial route plans.
I just remembered another labyrinth connection: Early in the pandemic I bought a labyrinth coaster and a ball, both as things I could hold and touch in a meditative way, tracing the path with my fingers. I ended up following this creator on Facebook, where she shares her techniques as she develops new designs, and it's very interesting. Her Etsy shop https://www.etsy.com/shop/WayStones?ref=shop-header-name&listing_id=1551618208&from_page=listing.
Ooh. I might get one of those. Like you, I've been trying to figure out how to build a labyrinth in my yard and stuck on the same questions. The one I walked at Norwich Cathedral was sunken flat white brick-stones. My spouse is generally opposed to the whole concept because mowing (this is not a yard-yard with grass, but for fire safety we still have to mow down whatever grows there, which is increasingly thistles and knapweed).
I'm going to be in Spokane at the end of January -- now I can look into making time to visit that labyrinth, thank you! And while half of my ancestry is Russian-Jewish, the other half is pretty much what you describe, with a good portion of French thrown in. There might be something to it.
Actually my younger kid got into the six-state honor choir and that’s their big concert. I have to chaperone them. It’s 3-4 days. I have no idea what time commitments I’ll have (I really hope not a lot because I get very cranky having to be an on-deck mom all day) but if you do come over I’d love to meet up! I’ll probably have a better idea of the schedule closer to the time, Jan 24-27.
I re-read this again today as the eastern hemisphere is arriving at dusk couples of minutes sooner every day. I can literally visualise the pull that you felt, the drawing of the glutes and thighs moving slowly against the existential questions that you carried within as you entered the labyrinth. I am not a prophet or mystic but it doesn’t take one to realise that the nature of your experience is transcendental. Those are the moments of pure synchronicity as Carl Jung described it, traces of a meaningful revelation hidden underneath scepticism. Think about it Nia, what did you find there that slowed your pace ?
"Transcendental" is absolutely the word for it. It really was. And now I'm distracted thinking of the lingering dusk where you live, how the light hits what you see as evening closes in on your windows ...
I ... don't know. It's eerie to me that it was almost the same experience I had before. Is it something in me that needs that? Is it something else that's pulling? Is it similar to feeling the fabric of a "thin place" like those described in Celtic lore? Both times I can say that one thing is true: It makes me believe in something.
The shadows prevail sliding slowly sideways, casting itself on larger shapes across every room as the evening draws the dark veils over the Eastern sky. It has started to get colder even here in the ‘City of Joy’ which is always warm and welcoming. I think about you and your experience in those labyrinth both now and the one you had so many years ago. I think about the calling that took you there, is it the labyrinth that beckoned to you or you who seek it out because some part of you already knew of this experience even before it happened maybe because you need to believe in something? I don’t believe that the time flows in the same chronology as it looks like to us, and quantum physics even justifies that using the wave and particle theory. I just know that I believe in your experiences and that it isn’t a mere coincidence. 💜🌼
I just want to take every sentiment within this paragraph and carry it around in my pocket all the time.
The more I think about it, the more the labyrinth -- that first time -- was something at the center of what led me to write about walking in the first place. Something very real, something about our deepest existence, and something to believe in without "evidence." And I totally agree about time. Though entropy is there and we can see its effect in the form of decay, what is time if not cyclical?
Entropy is real but it cannot delete the existence of something that was already here, that already lived. Death is the absence of a person now but that doesn’t mean they never existed. As long as they existed somewhere in the past, if we can turn around the clock and still find them then time is not linear. Or so does time seem to me. I am happy to see you surpass the eerie feeling and embrace the experience, you are deserving of it lovely Nia 💜🌼
Love this so much, Swarna, thank you! Especially the thoughts on people who've passed, and embracing the eerie ... life would be lesser without those, wouldn't it? Grateful for you! 🧡
It will be so much lesser without them! I am grateful for you too. Finding you across this sea of time and space has been nothing short of a miracle! 💜
My first and, so far, only encounter with labyrinths was while attending a seminar examing celtic practices. It was fascinating and enthralling. unfrotunately, I've never had the opportunity again. perhaps I'll need to do a bit more searching. thanks for this!
I'd love to know if you find something! (I think I'd enjoy a seminar examining Celtic practices, and a labyrinth feels very integral to that, somehow.) I'm glad it was enthralling for you. It definitely was for me.
I never heard your voice before and it’s such a sweet one, I don’t know why but in my head you sounded like someone with a deeper voice but I am pleasantly surprised to hear the sweet chiming sound that you have. And now I completely forgot what I had to say about the essay because I read first and then heard the recording 😅
I'm not sure I've ever heard my voice as sweet or chiming, but thank you! I do pitch it a little differently when I'm recording. My voice tends to get scratchy pretty fast when I'm talking, especially if reading aloud, so I try to be conscious of that.
You know that humans don’t find their own sounds good right because we hear it differently than how others perceive it, hearing our own voices externally differs from the internal perception we’re used to, creating a sense of unfamiliarity that some find discomforting. So you will never know how you sound, feel, or look like to others- that is the secret that drives our world. Our realities are not objective, neither is our love ❤️
If it's the labyrinth to the south of where I live that I think it is (unless there is more than one!) I'm pretty sure I've been there. My visit was on a hot summer day a year or two before Covid. Reflecting on it it seems it couldn't possibly have been so long ago, but it was. I found the place beautiful and I've been wanting to go back but I didn't have the same kind of experience you did. I do remember writing and leaving a poem at the little altar thing in the center. I've wondered on occasion what I wrote because I didn't keep a record of it at all ... which was entirely the point.
I'm pretty sure it's the same one, since you were the one who told me about it. 😉 Ages ago, but I remembered and looked it up. Outside of Victor.
I suppose it's going to be a unique experience for everyone, like meditative practices or walking itself. I was actually pretty disconcerted to have such a similar experience as the first time. It was eerie, though not in a bad way.
I have sat with and reread this the last couple of days--its such a beautiful meditation. I love that such an ancient practice had this effect and how you framed your experiences--and how mystery can find us even when we are ambivalent about what it's all about. I love that so much. Just gorgeous. 💜
I don't know of any nearby labyrinths but I've been intrigued by them too. I do agree entirely that there is something sacred about paths walked across generations, centuries, etc. As an archaeologist, we did surveys and was always reminded and reminded others that roads are first animal paths, then human, then become road systems.... paths walked by others make the way for us, and connect us in unexpected ways. Such a beautiful reminder of that in your prose.
"how mystery can find us even when we are ambivalent about what it's all about" -- yes! Always seeking that ...
In a different chapter more directly about different kinds of pilgrimages and walking for grief or for peace, I wrote about the Nazca lines in Peru and some of the ancient roadways in South America that white colonizers only later realized were pilgrimage routes or sacred paths. And I enjoyed Robert Macfarlane's descriptions of some ancient English pathways in "The Old Ways." How many stories have left by how many footprints on this planet?
I really need to read you book, it's soon to arrive and cannot wait. 💜 I love that you wrote about the Nazca lines in that framing. I enjoyed much of Macfarlane's Old Ways too--and I agree, so many stories in those footprints, left for us only by a path...
I enjoy Macfarlane so much. I have many, many questions about how he's able to do all that travel being the exact same age as me and also with kids about the same ages ... and other questions about privilege, etc. But I *almost* always enjoy his writing. :)
that is so funny because I have pretty much the exact same thoughts when I read him! I adore his writing on most levels, although it can still be so white man observing 'nature' and writing about it....and then there are parts that I'm like, but really,...how? :)
As one of my friends put it: "It almost devolves to the point of an Onion headline, doesn't it? "'Decolonize Nature Writing!' says white man about white man's book, quoting only white men.""
Nov 11, 2023·edited Nov 11, 2023Liked by Antonia Malchik
Omg, that article. Just fuck no. I had the same enraged reaction and nearly wrote something about it. And I had to read it again and am incensed all over--seriously these lines???!:
"That is to say, Raban seeks both to honor and to write with the perceptions of the First Nations people from the regions through which he passes. Those bookshelves in his cabin hold Trollope, Arendt, and Homer, sure–but also a monograph on Kwakiutl art and translated collections of Tlingit stories.
Influenced by the “marvelous, stylized, highly articulate maritime art” of those people, Raban’s own prose begins to shimmer..."
That is the epitome of recreating the White Western Male Hero Savior if I ever heard it. So glad he feels Raban can write from the perception of Indigenous peoples based on a couple books alongside implied 'western greats'. Jesus. And o how articulate their art is. Just stop. I can't believe he wrote that. UGH.
I've never walked a labyrinth, but your lovely post reminded me of a retreat I took at a Trappist monastery this past March. An atheist (actually more so an ecotheist), I nonetheless attended nocturn at 4AM each day, during which the cloistered monks would chant, pray, and do a silent meditation. Like you on those two walks, I had reverence for other paths (literal and figurative) of connection and meaning. And once the sanctuary went dark for meditation, I removed my shoes so that I could feel the place through my bare feet during my own (Vipassana) meditation. I had asked the former abbot of the monastery (who was passionate about documenting the natural world on monastery grounds — on iNaturalist, no less!) if it was in any way disrespectful to remove my shoes. "Nobody cares," was his reply. 😀 We'd spend the days geeking out in nature together -- it was great. I'll be back next year!
This place sounds amazing! You've reminded me of how Pico Iyer retreats to a monastery in California every 3 months for a few days. I am willing to bet that in places of deep contemplation like that, the way paths are formed reflects much of the kinds of ethos that goes into a labyrinth. In fact, both of the ones I've walked (and I'd say many you find around) are based on the one at Chartres Cathedral in France, built to mimic a version of a pilgrimage to Jerusalem. There is something about that movement, and especially barefoot. Tibetan monks have a practice called kinhin, which is a very slow walking meditation.
Well, to connect to the kinda spiritual thing, walking barefoot connects you (ok, me) to the earth, and at least in theory, drains away the effect of ´magicks´. When I moved here, the ground felt very alien to me for a long time, but I´ve adjusted to it. 🙃
At any rate, I walk barefoot all the time. Not so much in nature, but just everywhere around the yard. I got some el cheapo deck shoes from Walmart just so I could have something to wear without having to put shoes, but half the time I don´t even bother.
(I learned, as wee lad, how to walk on black asphalt heated up but the Texas sun, so I could haul the trash out. Of course, one of things you have to learn to avoid are the tiny little rocks and ten thousand glass slivers around an apartment dumpster. While also not getting burns on your feet. I´m quite good at it. I can go the other way as well. Had a Christmas party that I was doing all the cooking for - I was making all-fresh-ingredients pizza - and I was so sweaty I had to take a break and go outside and cool off. So I was out there on the walk in 35 degree weather barefoot, no problem. The people who live around here and should be more cold-adjusted than I am were asking me how I could do that. 🤷🏻♂️)
These stories! (You can have almost all of the sunny days. Those two weeks in summer are almost more than I can bear.)
I spent a lot of my childhood barefoot, and used to walk around St. Paul barefoot in college, though not so much in winter. Asphalt really cooks. And around town now ... I do, but glass and dog poop are such barriers. Broken glass, abandoned dog poop. It's hard to let the mind wander when I'm looking out for those things. But there's always something.
I read somewhere that you do get some kind of endorphin release from standing barefoot on ground, grass, etc. I'd believe it. I garden barefoot a lot, though the mulch I have in there right now is very roughly shredded cedar, mostly, and very prickly.
First I read your essay, then I listened to your reading. Your voice made me smile. Thank you for that.
I tend to carry around my own labyrinth inside my head. I have an appointment with a specialist next month to talk about it and maybe move some of the stones.
I admire your Substack as it so consistently reinforces the value of a walk from so many perspectives. I was relieved you did not venture too deeply into the mysticism associated with labyrinths.
Oh, this might be one of my favorites -- maybe THE favorite -- of all your posts. It's nourishment and beauty and melancholy and tenderness. Thank you.
Oh my heart, this piece really moved me tonight. This part especially - “The time, the silence, the simplest, most denied freedom to be our most present in the world, for the world.” 💔💔 that IS what we need. It makes my heart ache.
I too have a labyrinth within walking distance (technically) and may just have to make my way there soon. The last time I walked one was a few years ago at a meditation class with my kids - it was joyful and silly, but I remember the gravitational pull too!
It's a cozy little spot on a "landing" on a slope above the creek, surrounded by western hemlocks and douglas fir. Very beautiful. If I can figure out when I was last there, I'll share more photos.
Surprisingly, there is a labyrinth in our nearby National Wildlife Refuge! It's very well-made; a beautiful installation. And your essay reminds me it's been a while since I've visited it.
I loved your description of that voice that speaks to us from behind all the other voices. She is my most trusted advisor, and I've always wondered if other people have a similar "inner guide."
Oh, yay! Now I want everyone to post photos of their neighborhood labyrinths. (This one is, sadly, several hours' drive from where I live, but I've had a lurking idea of nudging the Parks Department to build one in town. As I'm on the Parks Board, I should start said nudging ...)
And yes. So much. I think she's always there; we just have to find the quiet space enough to hear her. Thank you for sharing that. 🧡
Holy cow! A worldwide labyrinth locator! I should keep that site on my phone. Thank you! And that looks like an absolutely beautiful one. I can just imagine how rich it smells under the trees.
Listened to this tonight while walking slowly around my favorite urban green patch, the nearby Victorian cemetery. Full moon beaming through quick blankets of clouds, bare gingkos and tulip poplars and sycamores scraping. The sycamores are my favorite winter tree right now. So tortured, bone-white limbs caught mid-spasm, flailing every direction, frozen skeletons of flames.
Someone suggested we make our next Scientific Animists meetup a labyrinth. Your post confirmed it for me. Here's the invite; still finalizing the time but I published it so I could share with you. You get linked prominently. https://partiful.com/e/vm0GE5wieMhUs6c2tswz
I hope you asked those two dudes what they were doing. Doesn't seem rude at all! Seems friendly. If asked the right way.
That walk sounds so, so beautiful. And sycamores! I haven't seen those in a long time.
Wow, I wish I could go to that meetup. The questions you're asking about "how" seem so core: "Looping past each other over and over, trying to maintain our interiority, seems hard. Or maybe we all just need to practice and figure it out?" It's almost like that could lead to the existential questions of human coexistence. How do we share this space?
I didn't ask them. I was trying to think of how to phrase so it wouldn't sound demanding like "WTF are you doing in the lake?!" but I was actually starting to get so cold and damp that the importance faded for me. But if I see them again I'll ask! Very curious. This is a hugely popular family beach and swimming area in the summer, so maybe looking for dropped and lost valuables? Or tiny crayfish, which I know life in the lake.
Years ago I walked a labyrinth with my younger daughter that had been laid out on the lawn of St. John's Cathedral in Spokane, where we lived at the time, and I think we may have gone to a talk at the church on the history of labyrinths. I have a small somewhat circular lawn space in my backyard and have been thinking about how I could make a labyrinth there. In my dreams I somehow manage it with plants so that you have to look closely to see and follow the pattern, but I've been dealing with my false dandelion and burdock by putting in clover seed after I dig them so I don't have a uniform background to start with. But something subtle, maybe sunken bricks? Something. My ancestry is primarily Celtic, British, and people who went viking and it somehow feels like a call back to those roots.
Many thanks to Julie Tennis for the labyrinth locator. I appear to live in the land of labyrinths here in western Washington; they abound! I'll be going to some of them and adding them to the list of attractions to look for when I'm designing bike tours I might take someday, which I write up on my bike blog to get other people to improve on my initial route plans.
I just remembered another labyrinth connection: Early in the pandemic I bought a labyrinth coaster and a ball, both as things I could hold and touch in a meditative way, tracing the path with my fingers. I ended up following this creator on Facebook, where she shares her techniques as she develops new designs, and it's very interesting. Her Etsy shop https://www.etsy.com/shop/WayStones?ref=shop-header-name&listing_id=1551618208&from_page=listing.
Ooh. I might get one of those. Like you, I've been trying to figure out how to build a labyrinth in my yard and stuck on the same questions. The one I walked at Norwich Cathedral was sunken flat white brick-stones. My spouse is generally opposed to the whole concept because mowing (this is not a yard-yard with grass, but for fire safety we still have to mow down whatever grows there, which is increasingly thistles and knapweed).
I'm going to be in Spokane at the end of January -- now I can look into making time to visit that labyrinth, thank you! And while half of my ancestry is Russian-Jewish, the other half is pretty much what you describe, with a good portion of French thrown in. There might be something to it.
I hope it's still there in Spokane; I don't remember now what material they used and whether it was temporary.
Are you coming to do a reading or something? I have family there and would love the excuse to go over!
Actually my younger kid got into the six-state honor choir and that’s their big concert. I have to chaperone them. It’s 3-4 days. I have no idea what time commitments I’ll have (I really hope not a lot because I get very cranky having to be an on-deck mom all day) but if you do come over I’d love to meet up! I’ll probably have a better idea of the schedule closer to the time, Jan 24-27.
Oh hey, fellow choir mom! My two were both in choir and one did musical theater and went on to major in it. I'll email you.
Ooh!
I re-read this again today as the eastern hemisphere is arriving at dusk couples of minutes sooner every day. I can literally visualise the pull that you felt, the drawing of the glutes and thighs moving slowly against the existential questions that you carried within as you entered the labyrinth. I am not a prophet or mystic but it doesn’t take one to realise that the nature of your experience is transcendental. Those are the moments of pure synchronicity as Carl Jung described it, traces of a meaningful revelation hidden underneath scepticism. Think about it Nia, what did you find there that slowed your pace ?
"Transcendental" is absolutely the word for it. It really was. And now I'm distracted thinking of the lingering dusk where you live, how the light hits what you see as evening closes in on your windows ...
I ... don't know. It's eerie to me that it was almost the same experience I had before. Is it something in me that needs that? Is it something else that's pulling? Is it similar to feeling the fabric of a "thin place" like those described in Celtic lore? Both times I can say that one thing is true: It makes me believe in something.
The shadows prevail sliding slowly sideways, casting itself on larger shapes across every room as the evening draws the dark veils over the Eastern sky. It has started to get colder even here in the ‘City of Joy’ which is always warm and welcoming. I think about you and your experience in those labyrinth both now and the one you had so many years ago. I think about the calling that took you there, is it the labyrinth that beckoned to you or you who seek it out because some part of you already knew of this experience even before it happened maybe because you need to believe in something? I don’t believe that the time flows in the same chronology as it looks like to us, and quantum physics even justifies that using the wave and particle theory. I just know that I believe in your experiences and that it isn’t a mere coincidence. 💜🌼
I just want to take every sentiment within this paragraph and carry it around in my pocket all the time.
The more I think about it, the more the labyrinth -- that first time -- was something at the center of what led me to write about walking in the first place. Something very real, something about our deepest existence, and something to believe in without "evidence." And I totally agree about time. Though entropy is there and we can see its effect in the form of decay, what is time if not cyclical?
🧡🧡🧡
Entropy is real but it cannot delete the existence of something that was already here, that already lived. Death is the absence of a person now but that doesn’t mean they never existed. As long as they existed somewhere in the past, if we can turn around the clock and still find them then time is not linear. Or so does time seem to me. I am happy to see you surpass the eerie feeling and embrace the experience, you are deserving of it lovely Nia 💜🌼
Love this so much, Swarna, thank you! Especially the thoughts on people who've passed, and embracing the eerie ... life would be lesser without those, wouldn't it? Grateful for you! 🧡
It will be so much lesser without them! I am grateful for you too. Finding you across this sea of time and space has been nothing short of a miracle! 💜
My first and, so far, only encounter with labyrinths was while attending a seminar examing celtic practices. It was fascinating and enthralling. unfrotunately, I've never had the opportunity again. perhaps I'll need to do a bit more searching. thanks for this!
I'd love to know if you find something! (I think I'd enjoy a seminar examining Celtic practices, and a labyrinth feels very integral to that, somehow.) I'm glad it was enthralling for you. It definitely was for me.
I never heard your voice before and it’s such a sweet one, I don’t know why but in my head you sounded like someone with a deeper voice but I am pleasantly surprised to hear the sweet chiming sound that you have. And now I completely forgot what I had to say about the essay because I read first and then heard the recording 😅
I'm not sure I've ever heard my voice as sweet or chiming, but thank you! I do pitch it a little differently when I'm recording. My voice tends to get scratchy pretty fast when I'm talking, especially if reading aloud, so I try to be conscious of that.
You know that humans don’t find their own sounds good right because we hear it differently than how others perceive it, hearing our own voices externally differs from the internal perception we’re used to, creating a sense of unfamiliarity that some find discomforting. So you will never know how you sound, feel, or look like to others- that is the secret that drives our world. Our realities are not objective, neither is our love ❤️
That is so, so beautiful. Pure poetry, right at the end. 😭💓
🤗💜
If it's the labyrinth to the south of where I live that I think it is (unless there is more than one!) I'm pretty sure I've been there. My visit was on a hot summer day a year or two before Covid. Reflecting on it it seems it couldn't possibly have been so long ago, but it was. I found the place beautiful and I've been wanting to go back but I didn't have the same kind of experience you did. I do remember writing and leaving a poem at the little altar thing in the center. I've wondered on occasion what I wrote because I didn't keep a record of it at all ... which was entirely the point.
I'm pretty sure it's the same one, since you were the one who told me about it. 😉 Ages ago, but I remembered and looked it up. Outside of Victor.
I suppose it's going to be a unique experience for everyone, like meditative practices or walking itself. I was actually pretty disconcerted to have such a similar experience as the first time. It was eerie, though not in a bad way.
I have sat with and reread this the last couple of days--its such a beautiful meditation. I love that such an ancient practice had this effect and how you framed your experiences--and how mystery can find us even when we are ambivalent about what it's all about. I love that so much. Just gorgeous. 💜
I don't know of any nearby labyrinths but I've been intrigued by them too. I do agree entirely that there is something sacred about paths walked across generations, centuries, etc. As an archaeologist, we did surveys and was always reminded and reminded others that roads are first animal paths, then human, then become road systems.... paths walked by others make the way for us, and connect us in unexpected ways. Such a beautiful reminder of that in your prose.
"how mystery can find us even when we are ambivalent about what it's all about" -- yes! Always seeking that ...
In a different chapter more directly about different kinds of pilgrimages and walking for grief or for peace, I wrote about the Nazca lines in Peru and some of the ancient roadways in South America that white colonizers only later realized were pilgrimage routes or sacred paths. And I enjoyed Robert Macfarlane's descriptions of some ancient English pathways in "The Old Ways." How many stories have left by how many footprints on this planet?
I really need to read you book, it's soon to arrive and cannot wait. 💜 I love that you wrote about the Nazca lines in that framing. I enjoyed much of Macfarlane's Old Ways too--and I agree, so many stories in those footprints, left for us only by a path...
🤗💞
I enjoy Macfarlane so much. I have many, many questions about how he's able to do all that travel being the exact same age as me and also with kids about the same ages ... and other questions about privilege, etc. But I *almost* always enjoy his writing. :)
that is so funny because I have pretty much the exact same thoughts when I read him! I adore his writing on most levels, although it can still be so white man observing 'nature' and writing about it....and then there are parts that I'm like, but really,...how? :)
💯
My science writer friends and I talk about that a lot. We all like his writing but ...
And then this piece came out a couple months ago and we all found it so offensive and ignorant, which was disappointing: https://lithub.com/how-jonathan-rabans-passage-to-juneau-decolonizes-nature-writing/
As one of my friends put it: "It almost devolves to the point of an Onion headline, doesn't it? "'Decolonize Nature Writing!' says white man about white man's book, quoting only white men.""
Omg, that article. Just fuck no. I had the same enraged reaction and nearly wrote something about it. And I had to read it again and am incensed all over--seriously these lines???!:
"That is to say, Raban seeks both to honor and to write with the perceptions of the First Nations people from the regions through which he passes. Those bookshelves in his cabin hold Trollope, Arendt, and Homer, sure–but also a monograph on Kwakiutl art and translated collections of Tlingit stories.
Influenced by the “marvelous, stylized, highly articulate maritime art” of those people, Raban’s own prose begins to shimmer..."
That is the epitome of recreating the White Western Male Hero Savior if I ever heard it. So glad he feels Raban can write from the perception of Indigenous peoples based on a couple books alongside implied 'western greats'. Jesus. And o how articulate their art is. Just stop. I can't believe he wrote that. UGH.
I'm saving this to savor on Friday. Time is set aside for quiet and listening. Thank you in advance! -Kate
That sounds perfect. 🥰
I've never walked a labyrinth, but your lovely post reminded me of a retreat I took at a Trappist monastery this past March. An atheist (actually more so an ecotheist), I nonetheless attended nocturn at 4AM each day, during which the cloistered monks would chant, pray, and do a silent meditation. Like you on those two walks, I had reverence for other paths (literal and figurative) of connection and meaning. And once the sanctuary went dark for meditation, I removed my shoes so that I could feel the place through my bare feet during my own (Vipassana) meditation. I had asked the former abbot of the monastery (who was passionate about documenting the natural world on monastery grounds — on iNaturalist, no less!) if it was in any way disrespectful to remove my shoes. "Nobody cares," was his reply. 😀 We'd spend the days geeking out in nature together -- it was great. I'll be back next year!
This place sounds amazing! You've reminded me of how Pico Iyer retreats to a monastery in California every 3 months for a few days. I am willing to bet that in places of deep contemplation like that, the way paths are formed reflects much of the kinds of ethos that goes into a labyrinth. In fact, both of the ones I've walked (and I'd say many you find around) are based on the one at Chartres Cathedral in France, built to mimic a version of a pilgrimage to Jerusalem. There is something about that movement, and especially barefoot. Tibetan monks have a practice called kinhin, which is a very slow walking meditation.
Hrmmm.
Well, to connect to the kinda spiritual thing, walking barefoot connects you (ok, me) to the earth, and at least in theory, drains away the effect of ´magicks´. When I moved here, the ground felt very alien to me for a long time, but I´ve adjusted to it. 🙃
At any rate, I walk barefoot all the time. Not so much in nature, but just everywhere around the yard. I got some el cheapo deck shoes from Walmart just so I could have something to wear without having to put shoes, but half the time I don´t even bother.
(I learned, as wee lad, how to walk on black asphalt heated up but the Texas sun, so I could haul the trash out. Of course, one of things you have to learn to avoid are the tiny little rocks and ten thousand glass slivers around an apartment dumpster. While also not getting burns on your feet. I´m quite good at it. I can go the other way as well. Had a Christmas party that I was doing all the cooking for - I was making all-fresh-ingredients pizza - and I was so sweaty I had to take a break and go outside and cool off. So I was out there on the walk in 35 degree weather barefoot, no problem. The people who live around here and should be more cold-adjusted than I am were asking me how I could do that. 🤷🏻♂️)
Nice piece Antonia!
elm
ok, *i* like the sunny days
These stories! (You can have almost all of the sunny days. Those two weeks in summer are almost more than I can bear.)
I spent a lot of my childhood barefoot, and used to walk around St. Paul barefoot in college, though not so much in winter. Asphalt really cooks. And around town now ... I do, but glass and dog poop are such barriers. Broken glass, abandoned dog poop. It's hard to let the mind wander when I'm looking out for those things. But there's always something.
I read somewhere that you do get some kind of endorphin release from standing barefoot on ground, grass, etc. I'd believe it. I garden barefoot a lot, though the mulch I have in there right now is very roughly shredded cedar, mostly, and very prickly.
First I read your essay, then I listened to your reading. Your voice made me smile. Thank you for that.
I tend to carry around my own labyrinth inside my head. I have an appointment with a specialist next month to talk about it and maybe move some of the stones.
I'm glad for the smile. :) And hopeful for the labyrinth and prospect of stone removal. 🧡
I admire your Substack as it so consistently reinforces the value of a walk from so many perspectives. I was relieved you did not venture too deeply into the mysticism associated with labyrinths.
Thank you, Mark! And yes, mysticism pops up a bit now and then but isn't really in my wheelhouse. ;)
Oh, this might be one of my favorites -- maybe THE favorite -- of all your posts. It's nourishment and beauty and melancholy and tenderness. Thank you.
That is incredible praise, thank you. 🧡 Especially from someone whose own writing I admire so much.
Oh my heart, this piece really moved me tonight. This part especially - “The time, the silence, the simplest, most denied freedom to be our most present in the world, for the world.” 💔💔 that IS what we need. It makes my heart ache.
I too have a labyrinth within walking distance (technically) and may just have to make my way there soon. The last time I walked one was a few years ago at a meditation class with my kids - it was joyful and silly, but I remember the gravitational pull too!
A meditation class with your kids sounds joyful and silly and absolutely perfect! And yes, it IS what we need. So much.
It's a cozy little spot on a "landing" on a slope above the creek, surrounded by western hemlocks and douglas fir. Very beautiful. If I can figure out when I was last there, I'll share more photos.
Sounds so, so perfect.
Surprisingly, there is a labyrinth in our nearby National Wildlife Refuge! It's very well-made; a beautiful installation. And your essay reminds me it's been a while since I've visited it.
I loved your description of that voice that speaks to us from behind all the other voices. She is my most trusted advisor, and I've always wondered if other people have a similar "inner guide."
Oh, yay! Now I want everyone to post photos of their neighborhood labyrinths. (This one is, sadly, several hours' drive from where I live, but I've had a lurking idea of nudging the Parks Department to build one in town. As I'm on the Parks Board, I should start said nudging ...)
And yes. So much. I think she's always there; we just have to find the quiet space enough to hear her. Thank you for sharing that. 🧡
I can't remember when I was last there, so I looked for a photo from the Internet to share. Look what I found! https://labyrinthlocator.com/locate-a-labyrinth?action=locate&organization=Willapa+National+Wildlife+Refuge&city=&state=WA&postalcode=&country=&radius=&submit=Search
Less than a five minute walk from my house: https://labyrinthlocator.com/locate-a-labyrinth?action=locate&organization=&city=Castro+Valley&state=CA&postalcode=94546&country=United+States&radius=&submit=Search
I like the "we do guided walks," which would be interesting, but I like the "always open" even more!
Bummer -- I can't find one anywhere near Los Angeles. It figures...
Ugh. Someone needs to make one.
Holy cow! A worldwide labyrinth locator! I should keep that site on my phone. Thank you! And that looks like an absolutely beautiful one. I can just imagine how rich it smells under the trees.