"But" kind of has superpowers because it can serve so many different functions and agendas, some good and some evil. Including the banal evil of the escape agendas you detail here. *But* I've always liked how it can serve that both/and function without being blandly both/and/anything; it challenges, lets you push back a little. To me it's always felt more like a protest or assertion of agency ("that's not fair!"). Or a search for truth ("don't leave this out!"). Or a recognition of the essential messiness of things, where every rule is stuck with its little exceptions and caveats. Funny how it can also be used to bury and gloss over. Both/and becomes but/not.
But. Sometimes it just gives you a space to pause and let the word hang in the air, while you think about what might have been left out, which you can't quite put words to yet,
I don't mean to get too hung up on the language piece, since your essay here is about ethics and responsibility and buried history, not aesthetics. But it occurs to me that "but" often does the most damage in these contexts, when it comes in the *middle* of a sentence. You can't say "Canada has all these hidden burial sites next to the schools in the same breath as "but the people here are really nice," and genuinely give both your full undivided attention. You have to be able to pause to be able to appreciate the contradiction.
I love this! Yes, I agree with all of this. I don't think it's a matter of getting hung up on the language piece at all because, as you show with many of these examples, the power of this simple word is much larger than I got to here. I mean, I do work as a copy editor, so could probably devote years of a totally different Substack just to meanings of words because I truly do love them and the role they play in human relations (both to one another and to the rest of the world). One of my dream jobs for a few years was to be an etymologist. But there's also a ton of scholarship on this, George Lakoff and Mark Johnson's "Metaphors We Live By" being one of the most well known, and Lakoff in particular has devoted years to talking about the role of metaphor and word choice in the social-political landscape.
By which I mean to say I think your observations about "but" add quite a bit to these ideas. How we position words like this does make a difference. Something as simple as "The oil refinery will pollute the groundwater and air, but we need the jobs" provides weighted framing for how people think of a decision or issue. Or "My kid will probably need a phone in a year or two but I want to protect her from the never-ending onslaught of nude photos," which presents an incredibly complex problem of weight and consideration, rather than the kind of erasure I'm talking about in the essay. (Sorry, that's something that's on my mind recently as my kids get to that age.) Thank you for this!
Thanks for mentioning Lakoff and Johnson! I've been wanting to read them in depth for a long time but was always too lazy or distracted and somehow never got around to it. (There's another less contradictory use of "but": acknowledging your failure to live up to an intention or aspiration). I'm around a lot of psychologists who are steeped in the discursive psychology/discourse analysis tradition so I'm somewhat familiar with that perspective, but the whole cognitive science/cognitive linguistics side is a whole other thing altogether. Come to think of it, those interests are probably why I gravitated toward copy editing too.
I think one key feature of the example with your kid that demonstrates a more benign or constructive use of a word like "but" is that you are qualifying the first half with an honest description of an attitude or concern you have, rather than a logical argument. If people just start with what they're feeling or what their motivation is (unjustified or not), language loses most of its power to bury the truth.
I imagine an unarticulated interest in cognitive linguistics attract a lot of us to copy editing. Even if we don't consciously know it, we have an interest in the way words shape our thinking. "Metaphors We Live By" was recommended to me a long time ago who taught English as a second language and was very interested in Piaget and Vygotsky. She really got me into that stuff, and it's been a long time but (!) it simmers away back in the brain trying to get me to pay attention again. I think it's actually part of what started shaping my critiques of all the textbooks I copy edit, wrt actual educational value and how people learn.
"If people just start with what they're feeling or what their motivation is (unjustified or not), language loses most of its power to bury the truth." That is a heck of an insightful line and it might just entirely change the way I talk! Or at least make me pause to see how I'm phrasing my thoughts.
One thing that always tripped me up about Russian is that verbs of motion (to pick an example) have an insane amount of variation within each motion. So there's "to go" but different "to go" depending on whether you're walking, biking, driving, etc. And then within that there's even more: Are you walking through the forest or around it? Are you walking to the friend's house and staying there, or going and coming back? Will you be stopping somewhere else along the way? Each variation requires a different verb, and (will have to talk more with native speakers about this) I always felt like the language itself required you to have a very good idea of the action you were about to take before you opened your mouth to talk about it.
I can't tell you how happy it makes me to see your name! I've missed you 🧡
I haven't even gotten my head around a schedule for summer but don't currently have anything booked that weekend. Obviously the topic is of interest but I never want to pass up an opportunity to hear you speak! Will be spending the weekend at Yellow Bay with my mom -- will bring my calendar :)
I've missed you, too. I've thought of you every time I've gone up to Bigfork and Yellow Bay. Are you staying at the Bio Station? Please don't feel obligated to come to festival. We can plan a meet-up when it's convenient for you. Yay!
I would just like to say that if you giggled here and there reading the word "but" over and over I am fully with you in dorky solidarity. Once I had an eleven-year-old boy in my house, I realized I might also be an eleven-year-old boy. No judgment.
Beautifully written, and the photos are breathtaking. I'm going to watch how I use "but" going forward.
"But" kind of has superpowers because it can serve so many different functions and agendas, some good and some evil. Including the banal evil of the escape agendas you detail here. *But* I've always liked how it can serve that both/and function without being blandly both/and/anything; it challenges, lets you push back a little. To me it's always felt more like a protest or assertion of agency ("that's not fair!"). Or a search for truth ("don't leave this out!"). Or a recognition of the essential messiness of things, where every rule is stuck with its little exceptions and caveats. Funny how it can also be used to bury and gloss over. Both/and becomes but/not.
But. Sometimes it just gives you a space to pause and let the word hang in the air, while you think about what might have been left out, which you can't quite put words to yet,
I don't mean to get too hung up on the language piece, since your essay here is about ethics and responsibility and buried history, not aesthetics. But it occurs to me that "but" often does the most damage in these contexts, when it comes in the *middle* of a sentence. You can't say "Canada has all these hidden burial sites next to the schools in the same breath as "but the people here are really nice," and genuinely give both your full undivided attention. You have to be able to pause to be able to appreciate the contradiction.
I love this! Yes, I agree with all of this. I don't think it's a matter of getting hung up on the language piece at all because, as you show with many of these examples, the power of this simple word is much larger than I got to here. I mean, I do work as a copy editor, so could probably devote years of a totally different Substack just to meanings of words because I truly do love them and the role they play in human relations (both to one another and to the rest of the world). One of my dream jobs for a few years was to be an etymologist. But there's also a ton of scholarship on this, George Lakoff and Mark Johnson's "Metaphors We Live By" being one of the most well known, and Lakoff in particular has devoted years to talking about the role of metaphor and word choice in the social-political landscape.
By which I mean to say I think your observations about "but" add quite a bit to these ideas. How we position words like this does make a difference. Something as simple as "The oil refinery will pollute the groundwater and air, but we need the jobs" provides weighted framing for how people think of a decision or issue. Or "My kid will probably need a phone in a year or two but I want to protect her from the never-ending onslaught of nude photos," which presents an incredibly complex problem of weight and consideration, rather than the kind of erasure I'm talking about in the essay. (Sorry, that's something that's on my mind recently as my kids get to that age.) Thank you for this!
Thanks for mentioning Lakoff and Johnson! I've been wanting to read them in depth for a long time but was always too lazy or distracted and somehow never got around to it. (There's another less contradictory use of "but": acknowledging your failure to live up to an intention or aspiration). I'm around a lot of psychologists who are steeped in the discursive psychology/discourse analysis tradition so I'm somewhat familiar with that perspective, but the whole cognitive science/cognitive linguistics side is a whole other thing altogether. Come to think of it, those interests are probably why I gravitated toward copy editing too.
I think one key feature of the example with your kid that demonstrates a more benign or constructive use of a word like "but" is that you are qualifying the first half with an honest description of an attitude or concern you have, rather than a logical argument. If people just start with what they're feeling or what their motivation is (unjustified or not), language loses most of its power to bury the truth.
I imagine an unarticulated interest in cognitive linguistics attract a lot of us to copy editing. Even if we don't consciously know it, we have an interest in the way words shape our thinking. "Metaphors We Live By" was recommended to me a long time ago who taught English as a second language and was very interested in Piaget and Vygotsky. She really got me into that stuff, and it's been a long time but (!) it simmers away back in the brain trying to get me to pay attention again. I think it's actually part of what started shaping my critiques of all the textbooks I copy edit, wrt actual educational value and how people learn.
"If people just start with what they're feeling or what their motivation is (unjustified or not), language loses most of its power to bury the truth." That is a heck of an insightful line and it might just entirely change the way I talk! Or at least make me pause to see how I'm phrasing my thoughts.
One thing that always tripped me up about Russian is that verbs of motion (to pick an example) have an insane amount of variation within each motion. So there's "to go" but different "to go" depending on whether you're walking, biking, driving, etc. And then within that there's even more: Are you walking through the forest or around it? Are you walking to the friend's house and staying there, or going and coming back? Will you be stopping somewhere else along the way? Each variation requires a different verb, and (will have to talk more with native speakers about this) I always felt like the language itself required you to have a very good idea of the action you were about to take before you opened your mouth to talk about it.
I was once told by a mentor that if you use "but" in an apology, you erased anything you said before the word "but"
That is some advice I wish I'd gotten very early in life but (!) particularly before I became a parent. Thank you 💕
Wow! Antonia! You're such a powerful writer. Will you be at the MacClean Festival? I hope so. Would love to visit.
I can't tell you how happy it makes me to see your name! I've missed you 🧡
I haven't even gotten my head around a schedule for summer but don't currently have anything booked that weekend. Obviously the topic is of interest but I never want to pass up an opportunity to hear you speak! Will be spending the weekend at Yellow Bay with my mom -- will bring my calendar :)
I've missed you, too. I've thought of you every time I've gone up to Bigfork and Yellow Bay. Are you staying at the Bio Station? Please don't feel obligated to come to festival. We can plan a meet-up when it's convenient for you. Yay!
We stayed right next door! An old motel that someone's lightly refurbished, it looks like.
I penciled in the festival and reserved a ticket, but absolutely yes we are not limited by that to meet up ;)
Look forward to meeting up. earling@bigsky.net
💕!
I would just like to say that if you giggled here and there reading the word "but" over and over I am fully with you in dorky solidarity. Once I had an eleven-year-old boy in my house, I realized I might also be an eleven-year-old boy. No judgment.