I recently gave up a friend[ship] of 25 years because she expressed her "hate" of rich Californians moving into her quaint seaside town when she herself transplanted there from Philadelphia 30 some years before. She proceeded to tell a group of prominent women writers that "these people" were changing her way of life, her culture. I stayed quiet until she said "her culture." Your culture? I said. You come from a very privileged and wealthy background. As did your husband. You reside in the traditional homeland of the S’Klallams and in Washington state where over 20 tribes were wiped out and more dispossessed. I'm sitting here at the opposite end of the table from you. My mother was forced to go to boarding school, forced and systematically shamed to give up her identity and culture. And she replied, I'm saying my experience is an echo of that. She kept repeating, echoing, "I'm saying my experience is an echo of that.
That is absolutely ill-making. It's not the first time I've heard it -- a white woman said something similar about small-town Idaho in a podcast I heard last year -- but it's extra appalling that a friend of yours would even think that, much less say it to you. There is nothing about her experience that echoes what your family and so many more have been through. I wouldn't even say she's "experiencing" anything except change she doesn't like. What culture anyway?! A culture of extraction, oppression, and theft with a veneer of "we're all nice to one another here and keep the vibe laid-back"? That's not culture. It's lifestyle.
It's one thing to hear white people complain about recent changes and the kinds of people and wealth who have moved in, which is common in the Flathead and is bad enough, but to believe it in any way reflects or echoes or is *anything* like Native peoples' experiences is so incredibly ignorant. I just have no words. And it's awful to have it come from someone who'd been a friend. 😒
This is so stunningly well-written. I can feel the tension and the love. I lived in Cody, WY for a few years as a child and I’ve been so nervous to go back and visit but feel like I need to. This piece helps me want to think about that part of my life and our country again!
Loved the Steindl-Rast quote, and well as the boring socks, and, well, just about everything else. So many good points about people wanting to keep what they think is their's and not think about working together.
That Steindl-Rast quote came to me when our town was going through some heavy white supremacist stuff, and it has been really helpful to me over the years 💕
Antonia, thank you for bringing this situation and its attending historical, political, economic and social complications to my attention. You do this thoughtfully and carefully. Too often our instincts are to frame "sides" and choose our idea of who best fits the roles of good and evil. It's rarely that clean cut. I appreciate the way you have brought the varied perspectives into conversation with each other.
That means a lot, Sherri, thank you! I really had to chip away at myself about that. I have such strong feelings about the conservation angle, but honestly how would I feel if this were my community? Maybe not so good.
There is a book called Billionaire Wilderness by Justin Farrell that touches on some of your ideas. It's about Wyoming instead, but it's similar. A big chunk is about the people donating the land and their reasoning through interviews. I'm only half way through it and it's blowing my mind, maybe check it out if you haven't.
To save the world! That's why anyone would think about it. I guess it's that cognitive empathy thing. Manageable on an individual level maybe but even at a community level it can be so very hard. Thank you for the reminder 💕
I recently gave up a friend[ship] of 25 years because she expressed her "hate" of rich Californians moving into her quaint seaside town when she herself transplanted there from Philadelphia 30 some years before. She proceeded to tell a group of prominent women writers that "these people" were changing her way of life, her culture. I stayed quiet until she said "her culture." Your culture? I said. You come from a very privileged and wealthy background. As did your husband. You reside in the traditional homeland of the S’Klallams and in Washington state where over 20 tribes were wiped out and more dispossessed. I'm sitting here at the opposite end of the table from you. My mother was forced to go to boarding school, forced and systematically shamed to give up her identity and culture. And she replied, I'm saying my experience is an echo of that. She kept repeating, echoing, "I'm saying my experience is an echo of that.
That is absolutely ill-making. It's not the first time I've heard it -- a white woman said something similar about small-town Idaho in a podcast I heard last year -- but it's extra appalling that a friend of yours would even think that, much less say it to you. There is nothing about her experience that echoes what your family and so many more have been through. I wouldn't even say she's "experiencing" anything except change she doesn't like. What culture anyway?! A culture of extraction, oppression, and theft with a veneer of "we're all nice to one another here and keep the vibe laid-back"? That's not culture. It's lifestyle.
It's one thing to hear white people complain about recent changes and the kinds of people and wealth who have moved in, which is common in the Flathead and is bad enough, but to believe it in any way reflects or echoes or is *anything* like Native peoples' experiences is so incredibly ignorant. I just have no words. And it's awful to have it come from someone who'd been a friend. 😒
This is so stunningly well-written. I can feel the tension and the love. I lived in Cody, WY for a few years as a child and I’ve been so nervous to go back and visit but feel like I need to. This piece helps me want to think about that part of my life and our country again!
Ryanne’s book “Pushed Out” is about Idaho and rural gentrification. It’s not too long and really speaks to all of this.
Thank you for reading!
Loved the Steindl-Rast quote, and well as the boring socks, and, well, just about everything else. So many good points about people wanting to keep what they think is their's and not think about working together.
That Steindl-Rast quote came to me when our town was going through some heavy white supremacist stuff, and it has been really helpful to me over the years 💕
Antonia, thank you for bringing this situation and its attending historical, political, economic and social complications to my attention. You do this thoughtfully and carefully. Too often our instincts are to frame "sides" and choose our idea of who best fits the roles of good and evil. It's rarely that clean cut. I appreciate the way you have brought the varied perspectives into conversation with each other.
That means a lot, Sherri, thank you! I really had to chip away at myself about that. I have such strong feelings about the conservation angle, but honestly how would I feel if this were my community? Maybe not so good.
There is a book called Billionaire Wilderness by Justin Farrell that touches on some of your ideas. It's about Wyoming instead, but it's similar. A big chunk is about the people donating the land and their reasoning through interviews. I'm only half way through it and it's blowing my mind, maybe check it out if you haven't.
That one is on my shelf! I'm really looking forward to it (or not, not sure, but it did sound good). Thanks!
To save the world! That's why anyone would think about it. I guess it's that cognitive empathy thing. Manageable on an individual level maybe but even at a community level it can be so very hard. Thank you for the reminder 💕