I've only ever tried to use a guided meditation once, and I despised it. When I have opportunity to sit, the last thing I want is any connection to anything electronic, anyone talking to me, any guidance, none of it. Maybe that's arrogance, I don't know, but the world is coming at me all the time anyway, people are suggesting, "You know, what you ought to do is.... " and I just can't abide it. So I flail away ignorant and untrained and that's good enough for me. I don't know what sitting is doing for me beyond training my body to be able to sit still but I feel like that is its own benefit.
All that said, my practice, which was daily for a long stretch, has suffered. My old cat doesn't much leave the room where here bed and food is anymore, which is here in my "office." And she has decided that the best time to get additional pets (and random bites in at my toes, elbows, and knuckles) is as soon as I lower my fat ass onto my cushion. My perspective then is that what is the point of meditating if it's more important than rubbing the ears of this 21+ year companion who won't be around much longer?
I think the electronic connection is my major hitch with it all, though the tiredness with the world coming at me all the time is a big factor, too. I *can* sit in quiet by myself for a long time but would far rather go for a walk. and you're right, is anything more important than rubbing the ears of an old companion who only asks for a bit of affection?
Our last cat died last January. He was 21. Then we got a dog. It's a very different experience for us. We've only ever had cats. The dog is lovely and similarly just wants affection and walks, but she doesn't purr and is over 70 pounds.
I wish I could ask a tree to guide my meditation, or just my life. I suppose I do regularly but then feel that I haven't done enough to serve trees to ask that of it.
What a wonderful article! It hit me on several levels and areas, thanks for that :-). I've always struggled with meditation (I am beyond haphazard!) , and this Zen saying captures it *perfectly* for me: "Meditation in activity is a hundred, a thousand, a million times superior to meditation in repose". Of course that works for me, esp hiking alone.
I too have been impacted by the formlessness (what a great description!) of the days, but for me it has been mostly about a physical injury and recovering. The most frustrating (ie slow to heal) one I have had so the days are reduced to tending to it, reading, doom scrolling :-), eating, YouTubing, etc. I've tried to find some beauty in the monotony and such, but it is eluding me. I am embracing the Stockdale Paradox (https://innovationandcreativityinstitute.com/stockdale-paradox/) and looking ahead but trying to make the most of the moments.
YES! Walking is my go-to. A long walk, by myself (rare these days), lost in thought brings me closer to losing my thoughts than anything else I have ever tried.
Healing can be so exasperating in that way. My mother-in-law recently had a tricky surgery and is in a long recovery and there's so much eating and boredom through the days. I hope you recover soon!
Just read the Stockdale Paradox. Love it. I'm going to try that and send it to a few people. Thank you for sharing!
My pleasure, Happy Friday :-). And thanks, good luck to your mother-in-law. Nothing beats a nice long walk for me as well, it's amazing how cleansing and illuminating it can make me, so to speak. Your book just arrived, and I have been reading your other works. Greatly enjoying them! :-) :-).
A long walk trumps everything for me. Thanks for the kind words! And for my mother-in-law :). She is doing very well and a little more mobile so slightly less bored.
My novelist friend Anita August says that "Walking exfoliates my mind." I love that.
You talk briefly about the relationship of time to silence, and the "invasion of time," and that's exactly what I feel when I'm in silence: an inner sense of spaciousness and time. I live with others, so taking a morning or a full day or silence (I've never tried a month!) requires some arrangement, but once that's done, it's very freeing.
One thing I like about silence is how simple it is. Sure, it encourages you to be more present, in the moment, aware of your body and your thoughts—like meditation. But you aren't *trying* to do any of those things. You have one job: don't talk. I don't always find it pleasant? But I always find it refreshing.
Sounds kind of like our conversation elsewhere about intermittent fasting. That awareness, the slowing down. The gift of not having to respond to people ... maybe that's what I should ask for for Christmas!
It’s unbelievably productive and feels wonderful, in part because I don’t have to give or receive conversation unless I choose to and can dedicate all my prime hours to writing, but that’s not my life.
“
That’s key! Conversation (especially real time , verbal) is exhausting and it can drag on and on. The parties feel the need to fill any dead space . I much prefer written communication. So much easier.
I want a virtual library. Where everyone can sit and work and perhaps just occasionally talk. Or something.
The days gets lonely , even though they are productive !
Conversation really can be so exhausting! I shut my kids down sometimes, though I try to be nice about it as much as I can. It's always some variation of "When you ask for attention from my brain, I'll give it to you, but I can only make it do so many things at once" or "If you're asking my brain to take attention from what it's doing to you, it better be important" or most often "Please stop talking. My brain is tired."
Phone calls are very difficult for me, but some people (like grandparent types) need it.
I love the idea of a virtual library. That actually sounds like a nice solution to been Zoomed out and still having to work from home. I wonder if people would be into that?
Wonderfully written as always! I am in this very fortunate position to have complete control over my time for the past six months. I’ve been working on some massive projects and shifting from motion to progress. This has allowed me to make some hard choices about some people in my life that were toxic. The distractions stripped away allowed me to confront things head on finally. I have been enjoying the quiet , but it gets lonely sometimes. My spouse is gone Sunday night to Thursday night. So I fill the time with work. At least I’m scheduling downtime :) and I’m on conference calls/in person meetings one day a week. Still it’s definitely a toll!
Thank you! It sounds like you've got a good schedule going. Reading your comment, for some reason I was reminded of how Nelson Mandela spent his time in prison after fighting against apartheid--he kept a strict exercise and education regimen. I had a horrifying thought: would I just end up sitting in a corner talking gibberish to myself? You've inspired me to work harder at, for lack of a better word, self-discipline as well as moments of joy :)
Wow Antonia. Thanks for the kind words about Pondercast. I am - like you - muddling through this with hugely conflicted feelings about everything - including meditation. I know quiet helps. I feed the fire and feed myself and my daughter ... and we do sit for long stretches saying nothing ... and those moments suit me best. Xox
Pondercast has really been a safe harbor for me throughout this. I can't tell you how grateful I am for what you've done with it. Sometimes in the middle of the night if I can't sleep I put on the Darwin episode, or the one in the ice building. The meditations keep me putting one foot in front of the other ...
Ha! Yes, I still have to do the laundry. And what a beautiful poem. Honestly, I think that first point of yours grounds the whole question for me, to ask why do this is a meditation in itself.
A friend emailed me about this post and we both realized that the biggest issue we're facing is the lack of time alone. My extrovert friends have had a very hard time, but I think it took longer for introverts to realize how draining it is to never, ever be alone anymore. So maybe what I need to do is to try to find a way to have guaranteed hours alone, hm.
Thank you for the offer! It's good to know there are more guides out there :)
That Sheldrake book looks amazing. Thank you for the tip! Definitely looks like an answer to the weirdness of this time--let's go deep into life instead. Love it.
4am is the magic hour. As long as there are no electronics on (I turn all of mine off and leave them in the kitchen at night) it's a time to talk with stars and listen in while the trees have their non-human time. They always seem so relieved.
I've only ever tried to use a guided meditation once, and I despised it. When I have opportunity to sit, the last thing I want is any connection to anything electronic, anyone talking to me, any guidance, none of it. Maybe that's arrogance, I don't know, but the world is coming at me all the time anyway, people are suggesting, "You know, what you ought to do is.... " and I just can't abide it. So I flail away ignorant and untrained and that's good enough for me. I don't know what sitting is doing for me beyond training my body to be able to sit still but I feel like that is its own benefit.
All that said, my practice, which was daily for a long stretch, has suffered. My old cat doesn't much leave the room where here bed and food is anymore, which is here in my "office." And she has decided that the best time to get additional pets (and random bites in at my toes, elbows, and knuckles) is as soon as I lower my fat ass onto my cushion. My perspective then is that what is the point of meditating if it's more important than rubbing the ears of this 21+ year companion who won't be around much longer?
I think the electronic connection is my major hitch with it all, though the tiredness with the world coming at me all the time is a big factor, too. I *can* sit in quiet by myself for a long time but would far rather go for a walk. and you're right, is anything more important than rubbing the ears of an old companion who only asks for a bit of affection?
Our last cat died last January. He was 21. Then we got a dog. It's a very different experience for us. We've only ever had cats. The dog is lovely and similarly just wants affection and walks, but she doesn't purr and is over 70 pounds.
I wish I could ask a tree to guide my meditation, or just my life. I suppose I do regularly but then feel that I haven't done enough to serve trees to ask that of it.
What a wonderful article! It hit me on several levels and areas, thanks for that :-). I've always struggled with meditation (I am beyond haphazard!) , and this Zen saying captures it *perfectly* for me: "Meditation in activity is a hundred, a thousand, a million times superior to meditation in repose". Of course that works for me, esp hiking alone.
I too have been impacted by the formlessness (what a great description!) of the days, but for me it has been mostly about a physical injury and recovering. The most frustrating (ie slow to heal) one I have had so the days are reduced to tending to it, reading, doom scrolling :-), eating, YouTubing, etc. I've tried to find some beauty in the monotony and such, but it is eluding me. I am embracing the Stockdale Paradox (https://innovationandcreativityinstitute.com/stockdale-paradox/) and looking ahead but trying to make the most of the moments.
Thanks again for your refreshing thoughts.
Paul
YES! Walking is my go-to. A long walk, by myself (rare these days), lost in thought brings me closer to losing my thoughts than anything else I have ever tried.
Healing can be so exasperating in that way. My mother-in-law recently had a tricky surgery and is in a long recovery and there's so much eating and boredom through the days. I hope you recover soon!
Just read the Stockdale Paradox. Love it. I'm going to try that and send it to a few people. Thank you for sharing!
My pleasure, Happy Friday :-). And thanks, good luck to your mother-in-law. Nothing beats a nice long walk for me as well, it's amazing how cleansing and illuminating it can make me, so to speak. Your book just arrived, and I have been reading your other works. Greatly enjoying them! :-) :-).
A long walk trumps everything for me. Thanks for the kind words! And for my mother-in-law :). She is doing very well and a little more mobile so slightly less bored.
My novelist friend Anita August says that "Walking exfoliates my mind." I love that.
Ah.. yes.. that is a wonderful saying, one I will remember..
You talk briefly about the relationship of time to silence, and the "invasion of time," and that's exactly what I feel when I'm in silence: an inner sense of spaciousness and time. I live with others, so taking a morning or a full day or silence (I've never tried a month!) requires some arrangement, but once that's done, it's very freeing.
One thing I like about silence is how simple it is. Sure, it encourages you to be more present, in the moment, aware of your body and your thoughts—like meditation. But you aren't *trying* to do any of those things. You have one job: don't talk. I don't always find it pleasant? But I always find it refreshing.
Sounds kind of like our conversation elsewhere about intermittent fasting. That awareness, the slowing down. The gift of not having to respond to people ... maybe that's what I should ask for for Christmas!
“
It’s unbelievably productive and feels wonderful, in part because I don’t have to give or receive conversation unless I choose to and can dedicate all my prime hours to writing, but that’s not my life.
“
That’s key! Conversation (especially real time , verbal) is exhausting and it can drag on and on. The parties feel the need to fill any dead space . I much prefer written communication. So much easier.
I want a virtual library. Where everyone can sit and work and perhaps just occasionally talk. Or something.
The days gets lonely , even though they are productive !
Conversation really can be so exhausting! I shut my kids down sometimes, though I try to be nice about it as much as I can. It's always some variation of "When you ask for attention from my brain, I'll give it to you, but I can only make it do so many things at once" or "If you're asking my brain to take attention from what it's doing to you, it better be important" or most often "Please stop talking. My brain is tired."
Phone calls are very difficult for me, but some people (like grandparent types) need it.
I love the idea of a virtual library. That actually sounds like a nice solution to been Zoomed out and still having to work from home. I wonder if people would be into that?
Wonderfully written as always! I am in this very fortunate position to have complete control over my time for the past six months. I’ve been working on some massive projects and shifting from motion to progress. This has allowed me to make some hard choices about some people in my life that were toxic. The distractions stripped away allowed me to confront things head on finally. I have been enjoying the quiet , but it gets lonely sometimes. My spouse is gone Sunday night to Thursday night. So I fill the time with work. At least I’m scheduling downtime :) and I’m on conference calls/in person meetings one day a week. Still it’s definitely a toll!
Thank you! It sounds like you've got a good schedule going. Reading your comment, for some reason I was reminded of how Nelson Mandela spent his time in prison after fighting against apartheid--he kept a strict exercise and education regimen. I had a horrifying thought: would I just end up sitting in a corner talking gibberish to myself? You've inspired me to work harder at, for lack of a better word, self-discipline as well as moments of joy :)
Wow Antonia. Thanks for the kind words about Pondercast. I am - like you - muddling through this with hugely conflicted feelings about everything - including meditation. I know quiet helps. I feed the fire and feed myself and my daughter ... and we do sit for long stretches saying nothing ... and those moments suit me best. Xox
Pondercast has really been a safe harbor for me throughout this. I can't tell you how grateful I am for what you've done with it. Sometimes in the middle of the night if I can't sleep I put on the Darwin episode, or the one in the ice building. The meditations keep me putting one foot in front of the other ...
I'll keep making forays with meditation!
Ha! Yes, I still have to do the laundry. And what a beautiful poem. Honestly, I think that first point of yours grounds the whole question for me, to ask why do this is a meditation in itself.
A friend emailed me about this post and we both realized that the biggest issue we're facing is the lack of time alone. My extrovert friends have had a very hard time, but I think it took longer for introverts to realize how draining it is to never, ever be alone anymore. So maybe what I need to do is to try to find a way to have guaranteed hours alone, hm.
Thank you for the offer! It's good to know there are more guides out there :)
I do talk with trees ;) Shouldn't we all?!
That Sheldrake book looks amazing. Thank you for the tip! Definitely looks like an answer to the weirdness of this time--let's go deep into life instead. Love it.
4am is the magic hour. As long as there are no electronics on (I turn all of mine off and leave them in the kitchen at night) it's a time to talk with stars and listen in while the trees have their non-human time. They always seem so relieved.